


The Book of Abandon

by Silver52PenofTime



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: #Monster Falls eventually, And isn't an antagonist, Dusty old book, F/F, Guess who's back!, I need a more clever title, M/M, No Gideon because that guy's dead as shit, Sequel to Red Falls, Some plot ideas from Soul Eater manga, Wizard legends, hell yeah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-08
Updated: 2015-07-02
Packaged: 2018-04-03 10:09:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 21,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4096972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silver52PenofTime/pseuds/Silver52PenofTime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Monster-Falls sequel to Red Falls. When Bill leaves for a couple days, things get weird in Gravity Falls. Well, weirder. A certain disease demon returns, though not intending to cause trouble. Everyone gets turned into monsters, which doesn't sit well with most residents. And perhaps most troubling, a strange sorcerer with a creepy old book and a stolen name seeks to add a certain Cervitaur to his collection.  It's up to Bill, The Stans, Mabel, Pacifica and  Ebenezzer (who just wanted to help!) to track down the man before things get bloody. (It'll make sense I promise!)</p><p>If anyone has questions about myself or the characters, my tumblr is magic-metal-pipe-of-pain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Looming

Bill glanced around one last time. He wanted to make sure everything was in order before he left. He had the list of names tucked into his coat pocket, as well as addresses. This trip would take him all over the world. He would have to remember to get everyone a souvenir of some sort. A little shiny trinket or something, maybe. He wasn't the best when it came to giving gifts. He remembered Dipper's reaction to the last birthday gift. It was hilarious after he got the human to explain why a lamp made from an inflated bear stomach was a “creepy” gift. He had thought it was pretty creative! 

“So when did you say you would be back?” 

Bill smiled over his shoulder at the sleepy voice of his partner. Dipper, a 24 year old man with more curiosity than common sense, was reclining in bed with a book of runes in his lap. It was the latest gift from a demon they had met with a better understanding of proper presents. That was really the only thing Bill would ever envy of the creature. 

“A couple days at the most. Gotta collect some payment, you know how it is. You lot will be fine without me around for a few days!” Bill reassured him. 

“I'm not worried about that. We have Stan and Stanley around, and Pacifica is coming over tomorrow to take Mabel shopping.” 

Bill chuckled at him. “Are they going to drag you along to carry bags for them?” He grinned; he knew how much his Pine Tree hated shopping. 

“Nope. Ebenezzer is dropping by in the morning, and said he would accompany them. Wants to see what the malls in America are like, compared to the markets where he's from.” Dipper grinned back at his luck. 

“Ugh, that guy,” Bill groaned and rolled his eye; he wasn't exactly fond of the troublesome demon, “Why is he running by? Aren't you guys still pissed about the whole killed a fourth of the town thing?”

Dipper shrugged. 

“I guess not. Was more Gideon's fault than his. He was just a little too naïve to really see what was up. Who are we to lecture a demon on morals, anyway?” 

“Guess you've got a point. So, why is he dropping by? Can't just be to go shopping with the girls?” 

“Probably to get some more weird herbs and shit from Stanley.” 

Bill snorted and sat on the edge of the bed. After the events of a year ago, when Ebenezzer had been working with Gideon to spread an awful, deadly fever through Gravity Falls, he had started dropping by the Shack a couple times a month. He lived in an old lab in some jungle in Africa; the demon never really specified which country the lab was in. He never really specified on anything, really, and seemed to enjoy keeping his secrets close. The Pines family had slowly accepted him as an awkward sort-of “friend”, allowing him to drop by to talk about his research and bounce ideas off Stanley and Dipper. He even let Stan use him as an attraction, getting locked in a glass case and spitting blood and black goo, much to the startled amusement of stupid tourists. They all thought it was a silly gag, but it was the driving force behind the disease demon's thus-far fruitless research. 

While most of the family was still wary around him, Stanley and Ebenezzer had actually become pretty close friends. No one really understood it. They exchanged knowledge, trading herbs and magical ingredients for scraps of old spells and rare African animal parts. The two got along so well that Bill had poked fun at their developing “relationship.” He stopped once Ebenezzer informed him that he had no interest in romance or sex, and found other things to pick at him for. 

Bill shrugged and wrapped his long arms around Dipper, his small smile growing into a toothy grin. 

“I'm not leaving until a little later, so why don't we have a little fun before I go?” He crooned, delighting in the slight shiver that his suggestion sent up Dipper's back. 

Dipper blushed and grinned back, setting his book of runes aside. 

“Sounds like a pretty good plan to me.”

 

The night was long in Gravity Falls. The sky was a little bleary, with low swaths of soft gray clouds painted across it, but it was calm out. A light breeze blew every once in a while, but it was only enough to ring a few wind chimes every here and there. The forest was quiet for the most part. It was, all in all, a perfect night for just about any activity. 

Perched on the edge of the cliff overlooking the sleepy little town, a man peered down at it. He watched as some more lights were dimmed. It was getting pretty late; he muffled a yawn with one hand and checked the watch on his other wrist. He was getting impatient, drumming his fingers along the spine of a very old book. The book creaked in response, and he clicked his tongue. He was itching to get started, but he had to wait for the all-clear. There was no point in doing this if the dream demon was still here. He didn't need the trouble that would bring, and he didn't need the demon either. He had plenty of those in his collection. 

A rustling in the bushes behind him prompted the man to turn his head, eyes raking over the scrubby plants lazily. A wispy form made from swirling purple fog dashed over to his side. Three bright blue points of light leered up at him as the creature settled next to his outstretched legs. It looked somewhat like a cat, though its form never remained still. Every breeze had it swaying with it, but it was definitely there, not a figment or illusion. 

“Sabre, you're back. Is he gone yet?” The man ran a hand down the creature's back. It didn't make contact, but the gesture was enough to please the beast, as a low thrumming came from it, and it's eyes crinkled with mirth. It hissed at him and seemed to nod at him. He grinned. 

“Good. We'll have to do this quickly, then. Don't want to linger too long.” He reclined, leaning back on his arms. He would wait until the sun rose; it was hard to read in the dark, even for him. 

He sat and hummed softly to himself, ignoring Sabre as it settled into his lap and curled up. He drummed his fingers across the cover of the old book, now lying next to him. He never let the thing leave his sight when he wasn't safe at home. He sat nearly motionless for several hours, Sabre sleeping in his lap. He was pretty tired as well, but the thrill of what he was about to do made sleep impossible. He would have time to rest and recharge after this was all said and done. 

The man watched as the sun rose, blistering orange and powerful. He liked it; he wanted it. Maybe one day, with the right collection of spells...well, that was something for another day. He had a different goal in mind for today. He stood once the sun was at the noon position; mid-day was the best time for these sorts of things, after all. The man dusted off the back of his pants, ignoring Sabre as it attempted to rub against his leg. Yes, definitely a cat. 

“Alright, time to go back. I have work to do.” The man opened his book, and Sabre jumped up onto it. Its paws stuck to the page it landed on, and it was slowly absorbed into the musty, yellowing parchment. Once it was done, Sabre was little more than a deftly scrawled drawing in a VERY strange, VERY old book. The man looked out over the town, watching it re-awaken. He flipped to a different page and began to chant.


	2. Well Fuck Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ebenezzer arrives to distribute gifts and exchange items with Stanley. Before he can really get settled in, a sorcerer walks in and changes things up. A very dangerous mistake is made, and a Cervitaur is kidnapped before that mistake can be amended. This is going to be hard to explain to Bill! 
> 
> Very long chapter ahead, so buckle up.

Dipper hummed to himself as he cleaned one of the shelves in the gift shop. It was looking to be a pretty nice day. It was nearly noon, and the gift shop was empty. The latest tour group had cleared out pretty quickly. They didn't buy as much as they usually did; Bill was the one who was great at getting tourists to buy dumb things. Dipper suspected mind control, but he didn't protest. Business was business, as Stan would say. 

He looked up when the door creaked open, hoping it was Bill returning much earlier than planned. He missed him already! He was slightly disappointed when a tall, dark man with dreadlocked hair sauntered in. He recognized Ebenezzer Zaire immediately. It was hard not to recognize the disease demon. He wore his usual red and black outfit, with a few new additions. He had added a pair of black gloves, special made so that one fit snuggly over his clawed right hand. The Pines family made him wear them whenever he visited, just in case. Ebenezzer had one particularly mean handshake. He also had a black bag slung over his shoulder. He grinned when he spotted Dipper. 

“Hey there kid. What's up?” He chuckled, accent more calming now that the demon wasn't a threat. Well, not an intentional threat anyway. Having something that could spread one of the deadliest viruses in the world with a single poke on the shoulder around was always going to be a little threatening. 

“Just cleaning up before the next group comes through. What about you? Any luck with the research?” Dipper replied amiably. 

Ebenezzer grunted and shrugged. 

“Course not. Damn virus is a tricky son of a bitch. Mutates quickly, and viruses are notoriously hard to kill regardless. That's part of why I'm visiting. I'm supposed to trade a Civet tail with Stanley for a few herbs he found in the forest. I'm trying everything, just mixing things together and seeing what happens to samples of my own blood. Nothing is really working,” The demon sighed and rolled his eyes, “Anyway, I got a nifty little gift for you.”

The demon tossed a small book to Dipper, who caught it. Dipper quickly flipped it open, eyes lighting up with excitement. The book was a field journal, full of drawings and descriptions of strange and wondrous looking animals Dipper had never seen. It was similar to the journals he already had, but much more descriptive of each creature. The writing was more neat and organized; it was hand-written, and Dipper marveled at the quick, looped lettering. 

“Whoa, did you write this?” Dipper grinned, giddy at the presentation at new knowledge. 

“Hell yeah. I went on a neat little trek through Madagascar last month. I was looking for a few different plant and animal parts, and figured I should keep a journal. That's the cleaned up version. Thought you'd like that, being the little bookworm you are. Be sure to share it with Stanley, and I'm sure Bill will want to take a look. Speaking of which, I got him something too!” Ebenezzer dug through his bag with a chuckle, “I feel like Santa over here.” 

The demon held out a hand, opening it to reveal an eyepatch. It was a deep yellow, with a small black triangle stitched into the eye-covering. Dipper grinned; Bill would love it! 

“Oh he's gonna like it! Bill left this morning to collect on some deals, he should be back in a few days.” Dipper explained, taking the gift and pocketing it. 

“Okay, cool. I can stay at a hotel then. I'm in no rush.” Ebenezzer grinned at the sound of quick footsteps down the stairs. 

Mabel and Pacifica appeared in the doorway, and Mabel grinned when she spotted the new arrival. She ran over and nearly hugged him, but stopped, remembering why that was a pretty bad idea. She settled for a gloved handshake instead. Pacifica smiled softly and stood by her side; she was much less thrilled to see the demon, but if he was a friend of Mabel's, she would put up with him. Even if he creeped her out. A lot. 

“It's good to see you! Love the bag, by the way! Where did you get it?” Mabel grinned at him, eyes alight with kindness. 

“Uhm...stole it...off a corpse...ah, let's move on. Look what I've got for ya!” The demon held out a few large wads of multicolored yarn, “Right off the market, best in all of Africa! That'll make a few really nice sweaters or scarves or whatever you wanna make with it!” 

“Oh neat! Thanks! Come on, the Stans are in the living room.” Mabel led the group into the living room of the Mystery Shack. 

Sure enough, Stanford and Stanley Pines sat side-by-side on the couch, watching an old “Grandpa the Kid” movie. Stanley was considerably younger than his twin, due to being stuck in a portal for thirty years. He still refused to discuss what had gone on in that portal, but had a stiff dislike for loud noises and squares. The younger man grinned when Ebenezzer walked in; Stanford simply muttered a low greeting. He shared Bill's not quite dislike, but definitely discomfort, around their former enemy. 

“I was wondering when you would show up. Got the stuff?” Stanley pulled a pouch full of various herbs from his long, tattered coat. He refused to part with the filthy thing.

“I feel like I'm making a drug deal,” Ebenezzer pulled the pouch of Civet tails from a pocket on his signature long blood-red coat, “Course, in a way, I am. I'm making a deal to help me make drugs. Hopefully effective drugs.” 

The two exchanged items quickly, squirreling away their prizes before settling into comfortable conversation. Mabel and Pacifica sat on the floor, fingers locking happily. Stanley and Ebenezzer talked easily, exchanging ideas on the demon's research. Stan kept his eyes firmly on the movie, sipping a Pitt Cola. Dipper found himself feeling a little lonely. He was surprised he missed Bill as much as he did after the dream demon had only been gone a few hours. It embarrassed him a little; Dipper was never quite comfortable with how romance made him feel. He was awkward about the whole thing. Luckily, Bill found his awkwardness endearing. 

Footsteps had the whole group turning toward the doorway separating the gift shop from the rest of the Shack. They weren't expecting any more guests; Soos was out of town visiting Melody, and Wendy was off on a road trip with her old crew. So when an unfamiliar man strode into the doorway, they froze. He looked over them with cold blue eyes, lips pulled into a tightly neutral expression. He was tall and lean, with evenly muscled arms. His brown hair was short and choppy, nearly hidden under a blue baseball cap, and a light coating of stubble graced his chin and neck. He was a rugged looking character, wearing a loose gray tank top, leans that were a little baggy on him, and a plaid-pattered jacket looped around his hips. Strange tribal-styled loops ran down his right arm and shoulder in searing black ink. The air around him seemed to buzz with energy, and Dipper recognized the feeling of very powerful magic. He gulped and stood up slowly. 

“Who are you? What are you doing here? This isn't part of the gift shop, and our next tour isn't for another thirty minutes.” Dipper tried to sound strong, but his voice betrayed how uneasy he was feeling, and the stranger smirked at him. 

“Name's Abandon. I'm not here for a tour. I've got an impressive enough collection of my own, and I need to maintain it.” The man pulled a large book seemingly out of thin air. It was thick and musty, and its age was apparent. The pages were a dull yellow-brown, and many looked slightly water damaged. It was bound in what Dipper hoped was leather, but looked suspiciously like tanned human flesh. He had heard of books bound in such a manner, and the thought made him feel ill. The cover was littered with very old runes even Stanley couldn't decipher, with the word “Abandon” carved along the spine. 

Ebenezzer stood up and took a defensive stance between the family and the stranger. Without Bill there, it was up to him to protect them from any magical threat. Though honestly, with how much power he could feel curling from the man, and even more from the book, he was not feeling very confident. Abandon sneered at him and waved a hand dismissively. The tattoos along his arm burst from the skin with such speed that it was hardly registered before Ebenezzer was curled up, groaning in pain, in the far corner of the room. 

“Let's see what I can add to my collection,” Abandon cleared his throat and growled out a spell in his thick, heavy voice, “ Magia Antiqua sapientia enim mortalium potestate haec species vertere . Ostendite mihi quid fit , ut fit uti videro.” 

There was a flash of green light, and everyone in the room shielded their eyes. They felt a strange prickling sensation along their skin, and each hunched over in pain. Bones shifted and postures changed. Skin changed to fur, feathers, scales and stone. Abandon watched as the magic receded, eyes alight with cruel amusement. He scoured over the forms the family had taken. 

His eyes fell first to the gargoyle. Stanford Pines stared down at his stone hands in shock. He jumped up and looked himself over. He was made from a craggy gray stone, eyes glowing vibrant orange. He had large stone wings and horns, and even a tail. He shouted and turned to seek explanation, freezing upon seeing the others. 

Stanley reached up to his face, flinching when he brushed his whiskers. He was a sphinx! Golden fur, large eagle wings, six-fingers paws! He even had rounder ears, and large fangs. A lion's tail swung behind him, and he growled in irritation. 

Mabel was next, as she found herself suddenly unable to breathe. She was a mermaid, which normally would have been exciting, but at the moment was rather torturous. Her lower half was that of a magenta colored fish, and gills jutted out of her neck. Stanley noticed her struggles and scooped her up, tossing her into the large fish tank behind the couch. The axolotl swam into its rock den quickly, watching the new addition warily. Mabel glared at the sorcerer angrily. 

Pacifica was a gorgon, and the group was grateful when she quickly flipped her sunglasses over her eyes. Her torso was now covered in smooth yellow scales, and her serpent half was a good ten feet long. Her hair was also weaved in with tiny yellow snakes, squirming and flicking their tongues. 

Dipper was a Cervitaur; half very confused man, half deer. Large antlers stuck up from around his pine tree hat, and light brown deer ears lowered in fear. He looked down at his lower half; deer. He moved his nimble, thin legs anxiously, wobbling a bit at the change in his center of gravity. He was very uncomfortable, and panicking. 

Last was Ebenezzer, and the group was surprised to see that he had changed as well. Picture, if you will a centaur. Then erase the horse part and replace it with a freaking cheetah. Now size it up a bit, because cheetahs are notoriously lean and nimble wild cats. Ebenezzer hissed angrily, new rounded ears lying flat against his head. His tail curled near the end much like the noose-shape of the virus he represented. The form would have been hilarious, if not for the greedy look Abandon was directing at Dipper. Or Deerper. Whatever. 

Ebenezzer ripped off his gloves and launched himself at the sorcerer. Abandon grinned and waved his hand, inky appendages winding around him and holding him in place. He waved his hand again, and the others found themselves unable to move. They watched helplessly as the cruel man strode slowly around all of them. 

“Disease demon, plain, even in this form. Mermaid, I have a whole tribe. Gargoyle, meh. Gorgon, meh. Sphinx, seriously, I have enough fucking cats,” He jerked his head and cupped Dipper's chin, twisting his head to look him over, “But you turned out quite nicely. I don't have a Cervitaur, and you'll make a lovely little centerpiece.” 

Dipper gulped and tried to break the spell the collector had put on him, but movement was impossible. Ebenezzer growled and twisted suddenly, catching Abandon by surprise. The man uttered a quick spell, and his image began to fade. Ebenezzer can't really be blamed for what he did next. Desperate to save Dipper, who was fading as well, he clamped his hand on the man's exposed arm. He tried to pull him away, but the magic was much stronger than him. He was thrown back, and could only watch as the sorcerer and Cervitaur vanished. 

The group stared in numb shock, and no one moved even as the paralysis wore off. There was just too much to take in. Ebenezzer opened and closed his mouth several times before finally managing to speak. 

“He took Dipper. He just...fucking took him.” He uttered brokenly. 

“Yeah. We...we have to call Bill! He should know what to do!” Mabel swam quick circles in her tank. Pacifica slithered to her side, eyes brimming with worried tears. 

Ebenezzer watched as Stan and Stanley set up Bill's summoning circle. He took a few wobbling steps back as they lit the white candles they would need. He wasn't planning on letting his new fur catch fire. It was only then that he realized the full magnitude of the situation. His thick yellow and black fur stood on end, and he choked out a sharp cry that had everyone turning to him. 

“Fuck! I touched him!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Latin translates roughly to "Ancient magic, heed my power and change the forms of these mortal beings. Show me what they become, that I may use them as I see fit." Well, that's what Google translate told me anyway. I never studied latin. Spanish was the only language my school offered, and I know only the most basic Dutch. Though I am fluent in Pig Latin. 
> 
> So, a lot happens when Bill is gone for just a few hours! Let me know what you think. I've never written a monster falls AU, so I'm really pumped about this!


	3. Story Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill isn't very happy about what has happened to Dipper, and is quick to get everyone ready to rescue the Cervitaur. 
> 
> We also get a little background on Abandon, and more importantly, the creepy old book.

Bill looked over the group with surprise and interest, hovering over the summoning circle they had set up on the living room floor. Was this some kind of joke? Why were they all...well, monsters? 

“Uh...why don't you guys start at the beginning?” The dream demon settled onto the couch, long legs folding under him. He listened intently as they explained what had happened, face slowly draining of color and visible eye glowing a vivid red. He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose to try to combat a forming headache. 

“Let me make sure I've got the story right. So a creepy wizard guy waltzed in, turned everyone into supernatural creatures, and kidnapped Pine Tree, who is some sort of Cervitaur, before you could break the paralysis spell? But NOT before Idiot Mc I'm a Virus could screw up in full panic mode and grab him?” Bill was livid, fists clenched at his sides. 

“Uh, yeah, pretty much.” Pacifica stared down at the floor. The room grew quiet as Bill thought. 

The dream demon sighed and motioned to Ebenezzer. 

“I get one free punch for you screwing up. Just one. Sound fair?” He growled; he had to release this anger somehow, and no one else would survive a good punch. Plus, he had assumed the family would be somewhat safe with the other demon present. He really shouldn't have left. 

Ebenezzer groaned, but accepted and stumbled over. 

“Just not in the stomach.”

Bill ignored him and swung his arm quickly, landing a blow right below where the man's belly button would be if he had one. Ebenezzer gasped in pain and hunched over. He had to cover his mouth to keep himself from vomiting black sludge onto the floor. He swallowed the thick substance and groaned. 

“Dammit, Bill, I said NOT in the stomach.” He had to bite back more bile; Bill hummed in satisfaction, the red fading from his vision. 

“Believe me, that was what was needed. Now, we need to discuss what to do from here. How long until Dipper starts getting ill?” The dream demon settled back onto his seat, mildly pleased with the pained look the other demon still wore. 

“The virus incubates for anywhere between two and twenty-one days, though I'm not sure how him being half deer will affect it. We'll need to move quickly, because once things start, they progress relatively quickly. I say he has a month at most. Then again, the illness isn't completely fatal. He still would have a ten percent survival chance. But, no, we need to go get him.” Ebenezzer curled his cheetah half up like a house cat, long tail wrapping around his feet. This would take some getting used to. 

“Okay. Now, tell me about the sorcerer. Did he give a name or any sort of identifier? Something I can use to track him in the Mindscape?” 

“Yeah!” Mabel lifted her head out of the fish tank, “Said his name was Abandon. Super weird.” 

Bill lifted an eyebrow and scoffed. 

“Was he a zombie or a ghost?” He asked with some amusement. 

“No?”

“Then that's impossible.”

“Why?” Stan grumbled, voice even rougher and craggier than it had been before. 

Bill sighed and leaned back. 

“Abandon was a sorcerer from many centuries ago. He was one of the most powerful magic users to ever live, so strong even most demons were wary around him. He could cast spells you wouldn't even believe possible. Had he wanted to snatch the moon from the sky, it would have been easy! His only real goal was to collect knowledge, though. Kind of like my dearest Pine Tree, except Abandon was not above doing anything. He had zero morals, absolutely none. One day, he would save a family from a manticore just to get a sample of it's fur. The next, he would burn down an entire civilization for a spore sample from some exotic mushroom. The guy was infamous for being very cold, withdrawn, and for the big fucking book he carried around. He died back during the plague outbreak in Europe, so there's no way that could have been him.” Bill drummed his fingers along one of his knees, bored and agitated. He needed more information! 

“This guy had a book!” Mabel piped up. 

Bill shot off the couch and strode quickly to the tank, eye wide. 

“What!? What did it look like?” He asked quickly. 

“It was really old looking, and really big. Looked like it was bound in tanned human flesh, super gross. And it had the word Abandon carved along the spine. Guessing that's the wizard dude's book, right?” 

Bill groaned and raked his hands down his face. Sweet fuck. 

“Yeah, that's the one. No one really knows if Abandon wrote the book, or if he found it. Or of it wrote him...” Bill looked anxious now, and dread had settled into the pit of his stomach, “Legend holds that he removed its original binding and used his own skin to rebind it. I suspect all the magic he channeled through himself had some pretty serious effects on his mind. There are even some who believe that his soul is somewhere inside the book. People and supernatural forces alike fought wars over that old book, even through up until NOW, no one knew where it was...”

“So we have some false Abandon running around with the dead guy's creepy skin-book, turning people into monsters and stealing them?” Ebenezzer knitted his brow. 

“That's the best case scenario. Okay.” Bill clapped his hands together loudly, “All of you pack some provisions and get some rest. Tomorrow we go save Pine Tree before he dies. I'm going to go into the Mindscape and find our false Abandon, I should be able to track the magical signature given off by the book now that I can get a feel of it from here.” 

“How am I gonna travel, Bill? I'm a mermaid.” Mabel frowned; she wasn't happy about the idea of staying behind. 

“I'll make a water bubble for you. Tie one end of a rope to you, and the other to Pacifica, and you won't drift away. It's going to take all of us to do this. I don't foresee a way for us to do this without confronting the sorcerer, and from what you lot told me, he's an impressive foe. Even I have to admit that I might need a little help.” Damn, how he hated to admit that. 

The group agreed to the plan and set off to pack some things they would need. Pacifica did Mabel's packing for her, and the whole group was dead silent as they bustled about the Shack. The air was tense, and everyone looked worried. Even the disease demon looked concerned, and guilty. What kind of demon couldn't protect his friends from a stupid wizard? Well, he wasn't really full demon anyway. 

“You know, I might be more of a hindrance than a help on this mission...” He spoke softly to Bill, making sure no one else could hear them. 

“Nonsense. We need you to cure Dipper the minute we find him. Besides, you're a force to be reckoned with when you need to be. Don't beat yourself up about earlier, I did enough of that for you. Now, what I do need to know is how close you are to one of your major meltdown episodes?” Bill watched him as he sighed and shrugged. 

“A few days off. I'll have a rough time, spitting up my liquified insides, but I'll be fine afterward. It's looking like I'm stuck with this, so I had best get better at recovering from my episodes anyway.” 

Bill nodded and clapped him on the back before retreating upstairs into the room he shared with Dipper. He closed the door and sat down on the bed, shoulders sinking. This was awful. He leaves for less than 12 hours and the most important being in the multiverse to him gets kidnapped, and horribly ill. He was going to have to find a way to put some more powerful protective seals around the Shack at this rate. 

Okay, he had to focus. He could dwell on the rising sense of panic and despair once he knew where in the Hell the piece of shit who had taken his mate from him was. He settled back against the bed and rose quickly out of his human body; it would rest while he did a little soul-searching. He shifted up and out of the gray Mystery Shack, looking out over the town. He tried to locate the heavy buzz of magic he had felt in the living room, residue from the Book of Abandon's presence. Even that little taste should have been enough to let him know that something big was going on. 

Well, the book wasn't in Gravity Falls. He growled and turned around, searching for-there! He could faintly see a dimly glowing trail of magic, leading off into the forest. He raced after it. Abandon, for lack of a better label, had teleported pretty far from town, but Bill could track him. As he drew closer, he could feel the buzz of magic growing stronger. It was intoxicating, the heaviest veil of curling power he had sensed in centuries. 

Within a few hours, the demon had located the book, and the sorcerer, but he couldn't sense Dipper. That made him worry even more, but he had to ignore it for now. Dipper couldn't be gone already. Abandon wouldn't have killed him, and the virus shouldn't be done incubating yet, so it had to be some sort of trick. He loomed over the form of the sorcerer; he matched the descriptions the family had given him, though he certainly wasn't the Abandon he had met on a few different, unpleasant occasions all those years ago. The way he dressed was all wrong! Abandon would have never been caught dead in such a drab outfit. He was pretty well known for the eccentric, intricately patterned cloak and rune-coated mask he wore. This guy was definitely...well, not him. 

But he wasn't quite right either. There was something very odd about the man's presence. Most people had a pretty neutral aura in the Mindscape. A few personality traits may stick out of they are central to a person's self-image; Mabel's kindness, Stanford's stubbornness, and Dipper's curiosity, for example. But these were miniscule differences, only noticeable to the most discerning of dream demons. This man's aura was a roiling mass of greed. There was nothing else there; no joys or passions or hatreds at all. Simply blind, needy, clingy greed. 

Bill shuddered and drifted past the sleeping man. He was glad at least that the man couldn't sense him in his sleep. He drifted to where he could sense the book. It was settled on a shelf, lying closed. Bill squinted at it, slightly confused. The book had a presence in the Mindscape as well, which he had sort of expected at this point. What he didn't expect was that it had multiple different, distinct presences. It was like having a football stadium's worth of people's minds jammed into a single space. It made his head (well, head if he had one in this form...) throb in pain. He tried to rifle through the different personalities, searching for the one he knew. Where was he? Where was his Pine Tree. 

Suddenly, he found it, one tiny voice calling out among thousands. He latched onto it and tried to phase into Dipper's Mindscape. He wanted to see him, tell him he was going to be okay, to not be afraid, that he was going to save him. He tried as hard as he could, desperate to somehow let his love know that he was there, but the book prevented him. He would need more power to get into the book; he would have to wait until he had the others with him, to physically enter the book. 

Sighing unhappily, Bill lifted away and began the journey back to the Mystery Shack. It was going to be a long few days ahead, and he would need to make sure everyone was prepared. He didn't know what exactly to be prepared for, but he knew it probably wouldn't be good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope that wasn't too dull! Things should be picking up pretty soon, so I expect it will take me a little longer to update.


	4. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill and the others make it to Abandon's hide-out and go into the Book, where they meet a strange creature who offers to guide them. Meanwhile, Dipper isn't feeling well, and is dreading what he knows is coming his way.

Bill gathered the nervous group in the living room. Everyone was as ready as they were going to be to leave. They each had a bag packed, mostly full of food and bottled water. Stanley had one packed with more practical supplies; knives, rope, a first aid kit, some twine, and all three of his journals. Bill looked around one last time; this was going to be an intense mission, and it was going to be difficult to get to where they were going. Teleporting such a large group such a long distance was no easy feat, even for him.

“You guys ready to go? It could be a while before we get back.” He cast a quick glance over them; the determined looks on their faces were all he needed. Even Mabel, in her floating bubble of water, looked like she was ready to take on anything that this adventure threw at them. 

“Alright. Here we go.” Bill closed his eyes and focused on their destination. 

The group closed their eyes and tried to relax as blue flames wove around them. It didn't burn them, but there was an odd tingling sensation. They could feel the ground vanishing from beneath them, and Mabel gulped at the thought of being high up in the air. She never did get over the fear of heights she acquired as a preteen. Suddenly, they were on solid ground once more. They backed away from Bill and looked around curiously. 

The area around them was a craggy mountainside, with sharp ledges that cut off and plummeted to an unforgiving drop. The few plants that they could see were dry and thin, undernourished. It had not rained here in a long time. The air smelled dusty and was heavy with dry heat. The area was unpleasant, and it was pretty obvious why Abandon would make his home here. No one would venture out here with another option available. 

“Okay. So where do we go from here?” Stan grumbled, peering around with glowing orange eyes narrowed. 

Bill jabbed his thumb in the direction of a peak in front of them. The cliff face was steep, but they could see a cave opening thirty feet up. It wasn't a long climb, but it could be difficult. Ebenezzer rolled his eyes and jogged over to the cliff face, looking it over before finding good places to latch his paws in. Bill chuckled and easily floated up to the cave. Stanley and Stan simply flew up to join him, though they were very wobbly in the air. They looked ridiculous, honestly, and Bill had to bite back a harsh laugh at their expense. Pacifica slithered over and began her way up, the strong muscles on her snake belly easily clinging to the rocks. She tugged Mabel along with her, and the mermaid giggled at the obvious effort Ebenezzer was exerting trying to climb with his padded paws. 

“Why don't you just float up like Bill did?” She asked as they passed him. 

Ebenezzer flushed in embarrassment. 

“I, uh, forgot I could do that...” He grinned and joined the others with a triumphant smirk. 

“Okay, okay, fun's over. We have to get inside. Give me a minute to check and see if the guy's awake.” Bill left his body and floated inside. He glanced around and found the sorcerer still alseep, burled up on a musty old cot in a corner of the cave. He returned to his body and grinned. 

“Still asleep. Come on, once we get in I can get us into the book. Just be quiet.” 

They slowly crept into the cave, looking around with wide eyes. The place was, quite honestly, barren. There were very few things in the cave; a few book shelves, the cot where the man slept, and a large case full of jars with preserved specimens in them. The specimens were murky and hard to make out, and there really wasn't time to inspect them. The group gathered around one of the book shelves, where the tome in question lay. Bill placed his hand over the cover, and the others followed his lead. Bill focused all of his energy on getting them inside the book. 

When he opened his eyes, the cave was gone. He pulled his hand away, alerting the others to the change. They looked around in awe. All around them was a seemingly endless white space. There was no direction; just a crinkly whiteness everywhere. Within that space, letters, numbers, and runes scrawled in looping black ink floated by in all sizes. They seemed to wriggle and distort as they moved. It was extremely unnerving, and even Bill visibly shuddered. 

“Where in the Hell are we?” Stanley growled, leering around. 

“The table of contents, of course. That's how all good books begin, correct?” 

Everyone whirled to look for the source of the unfamiliar voice. They had to squint as a figure approached them. It was a crescent shaped thing, appearing smooth and dull. It was white, with a purple rune for “guide” painted across it. Three tiny green lights glowed from its front, the outwardly curved part. It hovered closer to them, stopping a few feet away. It looked to be about the size of a basketball. It seemed to be observing them curiously, bobbing slightly in a wind that wasn't there. 

“Who are you?” Bill growled, blue flames appearing in his hands. 

“Who?” It tilted like a confused animal tilts its head. 

“Okay, what are you?” 

The thing righted itself and hummed softly in understanding. 

“I am the Index.” It droned in a flat voice. 

“Can you help us then? Isn't it the index's job to show people where to find things in a book?” Mabel asked hopefully. 

“Yes, that is my job, correct. I am a guide. What is it you seek in the Book?” The Index bobbed closer to them. 

“We're looking for my brother, Dipper Pines?” Mabel asked, eyes glowing happily. 

“What is a Dipper Pines?” The Index tilted again. 

“He's a Cervitaur. Like half man, half deer. We figured Abandon put him in here.” Ebenezzer tried to clarify as quickly as possible, growing impatient. 

The Index flashed red for a brief moment, then seemed to calm down. 

“Abandon...yes, the Cervitaur is in the Book. In the last chapter, where the rest of the collection is stored. Chapter Eight.” It droned. 

“Can you take us to him? He's going to start getting really sick soon and we need to save him.” Pacifica spoke slowly, masking her own irritation with the computer-like being. 

The Index bobbed in silence for a long moment. The rune on its “face” vanished, replaced by a running string of mathematical formulas. After a minute, the formulas blinked and were replaced by the original rune. The creature spun in a circle. 

“I cannot take you directly to him, but I can guide you through the Book to the last chapter. This quest is a dangerous one. The chapters, there are seven of them, divided into the seven sins. Each contains a trial based on the respective sin. It will take several days, as time moves in odd ways inside the Book. Will you still go after your Dipper Pines?” It asked, tone remaining unchanged. 

“Of course we will! Bump the seven stupid sins, we can do this! We have to!” Mabel gave a determined nod. 

The others agreed without hesitation. The Index seemed satisfied with their answers and turned away, urging them to follow it. It guided them to a large door, looming seemingly out of nowhere. They gulped and blushed a bit at the label burned into the front of the door; LUST. 

 

Abandon held the book in his lap and watched the tiny ink figures as the Index guided them toward the first chapter. Well, he still had a few hours until they even made it to the door. He would enjoy watching them struggle with the trial that Lust put them through. It always made the ones who went through it feel so awkward and embarrassed, it was amusing to watch. For now, he needed to visit his newest addition. He expected the man was in need of food and drink by now. He snapped his fingers, a bottle of water and a couple of simple sandwiches appearing. Well, the shop owners wouldn't miss them, and it didn't matter if they did. 

 

Dipper pawed at the ground under him, confused and feeling bleary. He didn't know if his health was being altered by the Book to keep him from struggling, or if something else was bothering him. He didn't know how long he had been trapped here; he had slept through most of it. His arms were bound behind his back with chains, and he found that he couldn't wander too far before being yanked down. There was nothing around him; literally nothing. It was unnerving, and he would give anything to escape. He felt terrible; sweaty, shaky, clammy. It wasn't unbearable yet, not at all, but he was getting very uncomfortable. He paused when a memory of a warm pressure clamped around his arm swept into his brain. 

“Dammit, Ebenezzer...” he groaned and lay down, deer legs curling under him. 

“Who?” 

Dipper looked up to see Abandon walking toward him calmly. He wore a baggy white shirt and jeans, a smirk crossing his lips at the fear that flashed across Dipper's face. The smirk fell when he noticed how pale the man was, and he was in front of him quickly. Dipper yelped as he grabbed his chin and knelt down, twisting his head to look him over. 

“You look sick, kid. Didn't look like this when I took you. Hmm...” He released him and sat down. Dipper glared at him and tried to shuffled away, but the man grabbed one of his legs and pulled him back over. 

“Relax, kid. I'm a collector, and I take very good care of my things. I'm gonna help you get back to show-room condition. So be still.” 

The man looked him over, poking him and looking close at his eyes and into his mouth. He frowned and placed his palm against Dipper's neck. Yeah, he had a fever alright. He muttered a variety of spells under his breath, and Dipper could feel the magic flowing through his fur and into his body. Abandon nodded and leaned back once the examination was done.

“This set on pretty quick, huh kid? Looks like a flu, but I'll keep an eye on it.” He seemed satisfied enough, setting the water and food next to him. 

“Uh, thanks...?” Dipper grumbled, hoping the foul man would leave him alone. He had enough to worry about without this creep looming over him. 

Abandon seemed to catch his drift, as he stood up and walked away without a word. Dipper curled up and chewed his lip thoughtfully. He knew Bill and the others would be after him; with how protective his family was , they were probably already at least on their way. He just hoped they made it in time. Things were definitely not looking good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, can finally get into the really weird stuff! These parts will take longer to update, as I have not come up with all of the trials yet. I have good plans for the first two at least! Hope you liked it!


	5. The Trial of Lust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can probably guess

The first thing everyone noticed when they stepped into the chapter of Lust was the décor. The ground was solid under them, expansive, with a little tiled path. The path cut through valleys of vibrant pink, red, and purple flowers that gave off a sickly sweet perfume. There were large beds veiled in thick pick curtains spaced along the path as well, and from behind said curtains, they could hear curious voices and intrigued giggling. 

The next thing they noticed was the immediate crash of intense sexual arousal that swept through all of them. The Index seemed unaffected, but the rest of the group gasped in surprise and shifted awkwardly. They would have much rather been anywhere but around friends and family like this! They all shifted and tried to mask their sudden, obvious problems, but there was no hiding anything. It was happening to all of them, so the only thing they could do was ignore it and vow to NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN.

“Index, what the H-hell is going on?” Pacifica hissed, face burning red. 

“The trial of Lust. Be careful, as the Succubi will be investigating soon, once they smell your arousal. They will try to lure you away from your goal, and keep you here forever. The arousal will fade once we move on to the next chapter. Try to focus on the tiles, they cannot tread on this path.” The Index led the group along the path, and the giggling from the veiled beds grew louder. 

Soon, figures began to peek out from around the curtains, watching them with hungry eyes of various colors. Some appeared to be male, and others were female. They looked like you would expect a demon of sex to look; perfectly idealized, winking and simpering as the group passed. A few called out to the passing group, coming closer to the path. They tried to keep their eyes on the path, but it was difficult with the Succubi throwing flowers and beads at them. Some of them resorted to loud, sexual groans and cries of pleasure that had everyone's faces burning red.

“Ugh. Fucking Succubi...” Bill growled, glaring daggers at the beasts. 

“That's the point, isn't it?” Ebenezzer grinned at him, trying to lift the very awkward mood. 

“Why is this even bothering you? I thought you were asexual?” 

“Doesn't mean I don't have the occasional physical reaction. Also doesn't mean I'm gonna act on it.” The disease demon shrugged, then yelped as thin arms dragged him off the path. 

A succubus grinned up at him, posing in a way that would have put a porn star to shame. Ebenezzer lifted an eyebrow at her. She was a pretty demon, sure, whatever. But he felt nothing, and quickly pulled out of her grasp. She looked him over and simpered, but he shook his head. 

“Ah, no, honey...you're barking up the wrong tree.” He tried to be polite, but couldn't keep the annoyance from his tone. 

She blinked at him in confusion, pouting. She had clearly never been rejected before; it really wasn't in the nature of a Succubus to be brushed aside. Her pout became a grin as something crossed her mind, and her form shimmered briefly until she appeared as a tall, attractive male. She held out her arms expectantly, waiting for him to swoon and fall into them. 

Ebenezzer chuckled and stepped back onto the path, shaking his head. 

“Heh, not what I meant. Good effort though, brownie points and all that!” He waved as she faded away, frowning. 

“This isn't so bad, once you get over how completely awkward it is.” Stanley muttered. He kept his eyes firmly on the ground. 

“You're telling me.” Stan grumbled back. 

Ebenezzer grinned and nudged the gargoyle. 

“Talk about a hard-on, eh?” He giggled and dodged the hand that the irritated man swung at him, “Oh come on, it was funny!” 

The Index tilted a bit, floating along with them, and hummed. 

“You all are doing much better at this than the last group. I am assuming neither of you two demons has Lust as your cardinal sin?” It asked, directing its attention to Bill. 

“Nope. I'm Pride, and that idiot is Gluttony.” Bill clenched his jaw and kept his eye focused on the door they were slowly approaching. This was relatively easy; he suspected it only got harder as time passed. Ha! Ebenezzer would have appreciated that joke too. 

“What happened to the last group?” Mabel asked. 

“Over there.” 

They turned to glance at some of the closer beds. The veils were pulled aside enough to reveal piles of bone and ash on the sheets, and grinning Succubi lounging across them. A few of them made “come hither” motions to them, and one even spit one of the bones in their general direction. Their grins were sharp and their laughter irritating, but none attempted to grab any of them again. 

They arrived at the door fairly soon, though more time had passed than they were aware of. They focused instead on the large door ahead of them, and the pillar beside it. The word Lust was carved into its base in long, looping letters. Upon it was a stone statue of a man that looked similar to the Abandon they had met, though this one was very idealized. His body was sculpted much like an Ancient Roman statue, and his eyes screamed “I'll fuck you until you can't walk.” It was even creepier than the actual man was. 

“The Hell is this?” Stanley looked it over, brow knit with confusion. 

“The Pillar of Lust. It marks the end of the first and easiest trial. Well done.” The Index didn't sound particularly pleased, but then again, they were beginning to doubt that is could express emotion at all. 

“Neat. So how much time has passed since we started?” Pacifica was smiling, triumphant. 

“Humm...a day and a half.”

They all froze. What? A day and a half? But they had only been walking for at most twenty minutes! How was that possible!? 

“What do you mean a day and a half?” Bill snarled, eye glowing red with anger. The floating creature seemed not to notice. 

“Thirty-six hours is how it is usually measured, correct?”

Bill huffed and ran a hand through his hair in exasperation. This thing was lucky his cardinal sin wasn't wrath...

“No, I mean, how can so much time have passed when we felt like we were only walking for a few minutes?”

“As I said earlier, time works differently in here. I believe it has something to do with the raw magical energy in the Book. You all understand that this is no ordinary library novel. This is an ancient magical artifact going back much farther than the wizard that claimed it. I cannot tell you more, it would waste too much time, and you said your Dipper Pines was sick. We must move to the next chapter.” The Index bobbed over to the door. 

Above it was carved the word GLUTTONY. 

 

 

Dipper felt horrible. He knew what was happening to him by now, and he was not at all thrilled. He was shaking, pale, and a look at his reflection in one of the empty water bottles Abandon had provided revealed that the whites of his eyes were puffy and red; he hadn't been crying, though he felt he might start soon. He groaned and curled up, closing his eyes. He hoped his family got there soon. He knew what was coming, and was not looking forward to it. 

Abandon appeared out of nowhere again, carrying more water and food. Eating was the last thing on Dipper's mind, but the man insisted that he needed the energy to beat this “flu.” The wizard grabbed his chin and jerked him up into a sitting position. Dipper whined at the harsh treatment, glaring at the man. The man froze, and Dipper felt a sting of pride at the thought that he had intimidated him before he remembered his eyes. Oh. Right. 

“Gonna take more than chicken soup to clear this up, eh kid? Well, I don't think it's flu anymore.” Abandon sighed and placed a hand on Dipper's chest. The Cervitaur sat still as the sorcerer's hand glowed with a white light. After a few moments, the light turned red, then black. Abandon frowned deeply and swore. 

“I should have know it was that damned Hemorrhagic fever. And of course it's the worst one, too. Kid, you're more trouble than you're worth, bringing Ebola Zaire into my book. But I've already got you and it took a lot of energy, so I'm gonna make sure I get you back in tip-top shape,” He waved his hand and a large bottle of Gatorade appeared, “Drink this. We need to keep your electrolytes up. Gonna need a lot of water and light food too, see if we can flush this thing out of your system.” 

Dipper groaned and rolled onto his side. He just wanted to go home, and get Ebenezzer to cure him. He hoped maybe his obvious pain would prompt some tiny, tiny bit of “good fucking person” in his captor to let him go home. It couldn't hurt to try, right? Abandon ignored him and stood up. 

“Make sure you drink all the fluids, and eat. You're gonna need the energy to get through this Hell, kid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, trial one, done! It only gets more difficult from here! I'll hopefully have Gluttony up by Saturday. Till then, let me know what you thought. I'm open to suggestions.


	6. The Trial of Gluttony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group endures the trial of Gluttony, with Ebenezzer causing most of the problems. 
> 
> Meanwhile, Abandon decides to prepare something special for the group in Chapter Eight.
> 
> (Also, as a kind of side note...does anyone know how to add pictures to these things? I want to add a couple of images to some chapters. Thanks!)

The group stepped through the door carefully, peering around carefully. The space they stepped into was rather nice. The ground was paved with large stones, and a flat dirt path led up a huge hill to a door they could barely see. As far as the eye could see sat small rectangular buildings, one story tall with open roofs. Steam billowed out of them, and the group could smell an amazing mix of all sorts of foods being cooked; it had saliva pooling in their mouths. The steam was so thick that they could not see if anything was inside the buildings, but they could make out huge plates stacked high with unrecognizable foods sitting on counters that jutted out from the wooden structures. (Ever seen Spirited Away? Then you see sort of what I'm picturing here).

“Okay, I see. Get stuck here stuffing our faces. Yeah, like any of us are stupid enough to fall for this.” Pacifica grinned confidently. 

“Really? Then where is your cat friend?” The Index hummed a little. 

Pacifica turned to look at Stanley, but no, he was still here, looking just as confused as she was. Bill noticed first and groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. Ebenezzer had vanished. Of course, he had just said that his cardinal sin was gluttony. 

“Fuck, let's go find him.” Bill huffed and led the way, weaving between the buildings. 

The silence of the place was getting creepy. All they could hear was the sputtering of steam, and the soft buzzing sound that The Index made as it followed them. Soon enough, they stumbled upon their friend. He was eating so quickly that there was no way he could actually be tasting anything. He looked like a big furry garbage can. Bill grunted and strode over to him. 

“Hey buddy, glad you had your fun, but it's time to move on.” He tried to pry the demon away from the building he was seated at, but Ebenezzer shook him off. 

“Oh you guys HAVE to try this! It's so tender! I don't know what it is, but shit, it's amazing!” Ebenezzer grinned toothily at them, pupils blown so wide that his red-brown iris could barely be seen. 

“You don't know what it is, but you're eating it?” 

“Oh please, what is it gonna do, kill me?” 

Something shifted in the steam. Bill strode backwards, spreading his arms to shield the group behind him. Ebenezzer seemed not to notice; well, this would be an important lesson for him. A massive figure loomed out of the steam, glaring down at the demon. It looked like...a giant cow? A massive, beefy (ha!) bovine stood back on its lower legs, lip pulled back in a scowl. It wasn't until it snorted loudly that Ebenezzer looked up at it. The demon continued eating as the creature addressed him.

“Eating my food, huh? Well now I'll have to eat you!” It bellowed at him. 

Ebenezzer grinned wide, sharp teeth bared. He looked wild, crazed, and jumped to his feet. His tail flicked erratically behind him, and he crouched down like a cat stalking its prey. 

“Not if I eat you first!” He sprang onto the startled animal, bowling it over and into the steam. The group couldn't see the struggle, but they could hear the cow-thing bellowing and the demon giggling madly. The noise suddenly stopped, then the unmistakable sound of bone breaking and eating broke the awkward silence. They could hear crunching and shifting, and they waited for any sign that it was THEIR idiot who had won.

“Huh. Tastes like...chicken? Heh, weeeeird!” 

Bill groaned impatiently and strode into the steam. He returned quickly, dragging the disease demon by his tail. This didn't seem to bother him, as he continued stripping flesh from the huge cow leg that he clutched to his chest. His face, hands, and paws were soaked with blood, and the substance dripped down his face. He wasn't bothered by it, and ignored the group's disgusted looks in favor of stealing bits of food off the plates around him as he was dragged back onto the dirt path. 

“Sweet Sally, how can he still be eating?” Mabel asked, frowning. 

“The food here is not filling, so gluttons can eat to their hearts content. Those that get stuck here eat like pigs, but starve to death all the same,” The Index tilted toward one of the little food stands, where a few skeletons drooped over the counters, “Or they are eaten by the chefs. I have never seen anyone eat a chef before. Your friend eats as though he is dying all the time.”

“You're not far from the truth there.” Stanley griped, watching the demon consume the rest of his cow leg before turning to look for more food to steal. 

“Stanley, grab some of that stuff and put it in my bag so I can eat it later!” Ebenezzer grinned cheerily. 

“What, no! Come on, man, focus. We have to save Dipper.” 

“Aww, come on. Peer pressure! Peer pressure! Peer pressure!” 

Stanley frowned sourly and swiped a couple of chunks of some sort of dried meat, dropping it into the bag as requested. He was rewarded with a cheer and the demon shutting up, engrossed in more food he managed to swipe with his long arms. More bovine chefs appeared and glared at him, but they were wise enough not to approach. Ebenezzer gave them a gleeful middle-finger salute just for good measure. The group reached the next door within a few minutes, and Bill finally let Ebenezzer go. The demon seemed to have calmed down, and his pupils slowly returned to their normal size. He groaned and stood up, looking embarrassed.

“Whew...sorry about that...” He huffed. 

“Don't worry over it, we should have expected problems with that.” Bill replied, his attention directed to the pillar next to the door. 

Gluttony was carved into the base of this pillar. The Abandon statue perched atop it was horridly thin, even more so that the disease demon. Its eyes were sunken in and dull, and it was hunched over tiredly. Food of all sorts was piled around its feet, and clutched in its hands. The sight made Bill's lip curl. 

“What the Hell is up with these pillars?” He stared at it curiously. 

“The Pillar of Gluttony. Always starving, no matter what it eats. A dire warning.” The Index recited as if from a script. 

“Yeah, yeah, but what are they for? I don't get it.” Bill glared; he hated not understanding things, even more than Dipper did.

“They protect.” 

“Protect what? From what?” Stan grumbled. 

The Index ignored him and turned to face the next door. This door was finely crafted, with a solid gold handle and fancy trim along its base and sides. The inscription above it read “ENVY”, and the group shuddered. They steeled themselves before pulling the door open and walking in.

 

Abandon sat on his cot, chuckling at the antics of the group in the Book. He watched the disease demon devour the cow-beast with mild surprise. Oh this group was fun! He hadn't been so amused in years! He knew he would have to intervene and stop them at some point, but he was actually hoping they got to the last chapter. He was itching to confront them for trying to steal his property, and hadn't faced a worthy foe in a very long time. Maybe he should go prepare a welcome wagon in Chapter Eight...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said it would take me a while to load these chapters, but damn have I enjoyed writing this! I think it's a lot better than the prequel was. Envy will be up soon, and I'm still plotting for Sloth and Pride. Wrath will be particularly fun!


	7. The Trial of Envy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group endures the trial of Envy, which is different from the previous two. Meanwhile, Dipper's condition is getting worse; our heros better hurry!

“Well, this isn't what I expected. I was thinking of things that were actually...enviable.” Pacifica muttered, lip curled in disgust. 

The Index led them through a swamp. There was no other word for it. Massive trees hung with gray-brown moss towered over them. The path they took was barely discernible through the thick foliage that littered the ground. Fuzzy parasitic vines hugged the trees tightly, and the thick smell of rot clung to the air. Mushrooms of all types grew along leaning trees and dying plants. The whole place was flooded with water so murky that nothing could be seen. Pacifica had slithered up onto Ebenezzer's back the moment she saw it, not wanting to get her scales wet. Everyone else slogged through the muck with deep scowls across their faces. 

“What's up with this chapter, Index?” Stan growled, looking around nervously; it was too quiet for his liking. 

“Let us hope you are lucky enough not to find out. Now hurry to the next door. This is where things get truly dangerous.” The Index bobbed ahead of them. 

As if on cue, something rolled in the murky distance, curling and slipping into the water. Mabel noticed it first, floating in her water bubble over Pacifica's head. She yelped. 

“The Hell is that!?” 

“Hush. You'll lure whatever it is here faster if you panic.” Ebenezzer whispered, speeding up his movements. He was eager to move on. Whatever it was in the water, he had little desire to deal with it. It seemed, however, that the creature had other plans.

The water rippled as the thing slowly approached them. The group tried to ignore it, peering through the trees and spotting the door they sought. Before they could even begin to approach it, a massive thing burst from the water and crashed near them. It vanished quickly, and the group backed into a circle, facing outward. A low growl ripped through the air, and something huge rose from the muck. 

It was the most gigantic crocodile any of them had ever seen. The beast was a good forty feet long, glaring at them with glowing red eyes. It growled and opened its jaws, revealing huge, smooth teeth. Its tail lashed behind it, and it was clear that this thing wasn't going to leave them alone. 

“What the FUCK, Index!? Are we supposed to be envious of people who AREN'T being attacked by GIANT FUCKING REPTILES!?” Bill screamed at the creature. 

“If you want your answer, kill it.” The Index floated high into the air, hovering quickly over to the door to wait for them. 

Bill growled and turned back to face the monster. It charged at them with a roar. They jumped away from it, barely avoiding its snapping jaws. It turned with a snarl, swinging its tail. Stan flew around it and landed a hard punch in its jaw. It jerked its head in response, knocking him out of the air. Stanley ran to his aid, pouncing on the beast's back and trying to claw at it. Its scales were too thick, and it rolled, throwing him off. 

“How the Hell are we supposed to kill it?” Stan snarled. 

“I have an idea!” Pacifica slithered over to the beast and would her snake body around its neck. The crocodile hissed loudly and writhed as she tightened her coils around it, trying to squeeze the life out of it. Mabel cheered her on, grinning. The croc seemed to get tired of the game and rolled quickly, throwing the both of them away from it. It surfaced and circled around them, watching them warily. 

“Do we really want to kill it and find out what The Index was talking about?” Ebenezzer growled. 

“We have to, it's not gonna let us pass. I'm getting really tired of this shit.” Bill snarled and jumped at the beast. It reared back and snapped at him, but he easily avoided it. The beast was large, but it was slow. The demon grabbed its upper jaw and pulled up. His wide grin grew wider as he heard the loud snap of bone. He giggled as sinew tore and the animal writhed and rolled under him. He didn't stop until he had ripped the top of its head clean off. 

Bill tossed the thing aside and spit at it, rejoining his family. Satisfaction made his face seem to glow, and he began to lead them along the path. He still didn't get what was up with the monster, but it didn't matter. At least, that's what he thought until he heard Stan swear from behind him. They all turned and gasped as a huge glob of green energy began to rise from the dead animal's throat. 

“Okay, fuck, run!” Bill shouted, turning tail and fleeing up the path. 

The group followed, stumbling through the thick mud beneath their feet. It was difficult to slog through, and it slowed them down considerably. The glob rose into the air and floated behind them, catching up with ease. It lashed forward and wrapped around the closest one to it; Stanley screamed as it burned his skin. He crumpled and hunched over, roaring and kicking at the stuff as it pulsed around him. Stan crouched at his side, trying to shake him. 

“Lee, you're gonna be okay! We'll get rid of it!” He growled, trying to pry the stuff off of him. 

Stanley jerked away from him and hissed, leering up at him. Stan jerked away in surprise; Stanley's eyes were glowing an acid green. His face was contorting in pain and anger, and uncontrollable envy. He swiped at Stan, who rocked back on his heels to avoid him. 

“Lee...?” He asked mildly. 

“Piss. Off. Go hang out with your friends like you always do when I need you!” Stanley growled, bristling. 

“What...?” 

Bill grabbed him and pulled him away. 

“Shh. He can't process anything coherently like this. We need to get him to the door, I'm sure it'll clear up.” He muttered soothingly. 

“Yeah, I get it. Come on, help me grab him.” Stan grumbled and scooped his brother up. Stanley struggled to get away, but Stan was stronger than him in his stone body. He locked his arms around the sphinx, effectively holding him still. 

The group trudged through the mud to the door, glaring at The Index, which hadn't moved since it flew up there. Stan dropped Stanley once the green had faded from his eyes. Stanley bit his lip and clasped Stan's shoulder. He hesitated for a moment, trying to find his words, before speaking.

“I'm really sorry about that, Ford...” He apologized softly. 

“Not your fault. It's this damn Book.” Stan smiled and nodded at him. The Index watched their little display, tilting a bit at the insult to the Book. 

Ebenezzer grinned at them, then turned and retched. A wad of hair, coated in blood, fell to the ground. The group looked down at the bloody hairball before bursting into relieved laughter. The demon gave them a sour look and pulled strands of hair out of his mouth. 

“Been grooming yourself, Ebzy?” Mabel teased. 

“Hmph. No,” The demon rolled his eyes at them, “I'm not a house cat. Ugh, but I do need to get that taste out of my mouth.” He dug a chunk of the meat from the GLUTTONY chapter out of his bag and took a bite. Then he hissed and spit it out. 

“What the Hell, it tastes like sand!”

“Well of course. The food loses its potency once taken out of its chapter.” The Index bobbed next to him.

“Well thanks for the warning, shit. Eugh!”

The family laughed as the demon tried to scrub the taste from his mouth with his sleeve. His antics were certainly lifting the mood, but it was time to get serious again. They had a job to do.

The group turned to look at the next Pillar. The Abandon depicted was leering off at the swamp, eyes narrowed angrily. It was clutching its hands to itself. The envy was obvious, painted across its face. Bill glared at it, trying to put the pieces together. He still didn't quite get it; he was missing something, and he suspected it had something to do with their cryptic guide. He would have to think about it later. It was time to move to the next chapter; SLOTH. 

 

Dipper whimpered and dabbed at his eyes. He was in so much pain, he couldn't keep himself from crying. He startled when he looked at his hands to see a sticky red substance. Fuck, he was crying blood. This was definitely not good. He sighed and curled up, laying his head on his fluffy deer back. He sniffled and tried not to think about what would happen if Bill didn't get to him soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a little different than what I had planned. I was going to get more angsty, but I decided to save the angst for Wrath. Prepare for PAIN!!!!!! Anyway, lemme know what you think!


	8. The Trial of Sloth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group goes through the trial of Sloth. This is a short, not-so-exciting chapter meant to divide the story and prelude the intensity I plan for Wrath. Also, a bit of a glimpse into what Abandon has waiting in Chapter Eight!

The first one to drop was Stanley, crumpling forward onto the path and snoring loudly. Pacifica was next, curling up and ignoring Mabel's sleepy protests. Finally, Stan hunched over and fell asleep. The demons groaned in annoyance; they had expected as much. Luckily, the sluggish effects of the Sloth chapter had little effect on them aside from making them walk a little slower. 

The area was a large, soft, cushy kind of space. It was warm and quiet, and felt like the safest place in the book. The whole facade was intended, of course, to lure them to stop there and rest; potentially forever. It was the mid-point in the book; the Index had informed them that things would only pick up from there. 

“Well, didn't take these three long to lull off. Even Mabel finally went out. Guess we'll have to carry them.” Bill griped with a frown. 

“Yeah. I'll get this idiot,” Ebenezzer scooped Stanley up onto his back, “I expect you can levitate the other three to the next door.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I'm on it.” Bill snapped his fingers, and Stan, Mabel, and Pacifica floated a few feet above them as they walked sluggishly up the trail. The Index bobbed a little ahead of them, unaffected. 

“How has none of this bothered you, Index?” Bill asked. 

“I am part of the book. The chapters do not effect me simply because of that.” The strange creature replied. 

“Makes sense. So if you're part of the book, you must know its history. You said earlier that it was around before Abandon was.”

The Index seemed to consider its words carefully before electing to speak again. 

“The Book has been around for centuries. It has been used by many different sorcerers, witches, wizards, and the like. It is known as the Book of Abandon only because of the fame of its last owner. As the legends hold, it was rebound in the sorcerer's flesh a few years before he died. The Book was hidden away until recently.” The Index droned. 

“Okay. So what about those creepy statues? You said that they protect something? What's in the book that needs to be protected?” Ebenezzer cocked an eyebrow curiously. 

“There are many things in the Book. You have met only a tiny percent of some of the things stored here. The collection has only expanded since the false Abandon began adding to it.” 

“You dodged the question like a politician.”

“I have a few talents. We're almost to the next door. Sloth is a short chapter with little danger.”

The demons looked up to see that they were indeed close to the next door. The others started waking from their magic-induced naps, grumbling and rubbing at their eyes. 

“We there yet?” Mabel asked, yawning wide. 

“Well, we're at the end of the Sloth chapter. Glad you lot enjoyed your naps.” Bill smirked and dropped them onto the ground. 

“Eh, not our fault. Let's just move on to the next chapter so we can get Dipper.” Stanley growled, hopping off of Ebenezzer's back. 

They turned to look at the pillar next to the large, imposing door leading to the chapter of WRATH. The Abandon statue on it was reclining lazily, obviously asleep. It looked like a man who was as comfortable as he could be. Bill snorted at it and sighed. 

“I still don't get it, but it doesn't matter. Let's just move on.” He muttered. 

“Steel yourselves for the next chapter then. Wrath is not an easy journey to make it through.” The Index flashed red briefly, watching the unease that settled into the other's faces. 

 

Abandon stood tall in the blankness of Chapter Eight, looking over the vast expanse he had to work with. He ignored the whimpering of the Cervitaur in the cage behind him; he would deal with his deteriorating condition later. Thankfully, it wasn't as bad as it could be yet, so he was certain the man would be at least alive when his rescue team arrived. That would be the fun part. 

Swirling blue magic buzzed around the sorcerer as he began his work. Tall structures burst from the ground, looming high above him. Glowing orange lights hung suspended through the air by long black poles. He decided to avoid adding color, save for the lights, and added long streets and some smaller buildings. Within an hour, there was a massive, sprawling, silent city stretched out before him. It was empty, but he had plans for this curious little maze of his. 

“Your friends should be here within a couple days at this rate, kid. And when they arrive, I'm going to give them a welcome fitting a band of thieves!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if this one was a bit dull, but I felt this part needed a "calm before the storm" kind of effect. Wrath is next!


	9. The Trial of Wrath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get heated during the Trial of Wrath, and a quick argument breaks out. Also, more from Abandon as he waits for the group to arrive in Chapter Eight.

Anger buzzed in the air around the group. It was the kind of anger that is oppressive and heavy, the kind that holds down your tongue and keeps itself flaring in your mind. Every step through the ragged wasteland made everyone only more irritated. The chapter of Wrath was an ugly place. It was boiling hot, arid, and the land was dotted with scrubby plants and small rocks. The whole place stank and it was making their heads swim. 

“Ugh, this is awful...” Pacifica griped, glaring around at the place. 

“Let's just get through it and move on. No time to waste.” Stanley shuddered, hating the place as well. It made him want to tear something apart. 

Bill grunted and kept striding forward, trying to ignore the anger grating at his nerves. His head was pounding with a fierce headache, and all he wanted to do was take out his frustration on someone. They were only a little past halfway to where Dipper supposedly was, and he had no idea what condition the Cervitaur was in. The Index insisted that he was alive, but as time passed, he grew less trusting of the floating creature. He didn't like not knowing what was up, and the thing refused to offer any concrete answers. 

“Bill, you alright? You need to rest a minute?” Ebenezzer walked a little closer to him, concern on his face. 

“No, I'm not alright! And I don't need to rest a minute, I need to get to Dipper so you can cure him and fix the huge fucking problem you caused!” Bill snapped at him, visible eye glowing red. 

Ebenezzer recoiled and blinked at him in surprise. 

“I caused? Bill, I didn't mean to get Dipper sick. I panicked! I'm sorry, I really am.” The disease demon frowned. 

“Well, you could have killed him, and I can't do anything about it right now! What kind of demon can't protect his family from a stupid human anyway!? I thought you were all tough shit, but you're pathetic!” 

Ebenezzer growled, irritation getting to him as well. 

“Shut up! What do you know about me and what I am, anyway!? Who gave you the right to judge me? I did all that I could to protect them, but I have no experience with any of this fucking mess and I'm not used to having to protect anyone!” He snarled, fur bristling. 

“I left Gravity Falls knowing you would be there in case anything happened, and then I get called back because the man I love was turned into a fucking deer, given one of humanity's most disgusting and fatal illnesses, and kidnapped by a madman with a dusty old book! How badly could you possibly fuck up, Ebenezzer? I guess it's just another mistake of youth, from being a test-tube demon baby grown by accident in a trash can!” 

The group gasped as a resounding smack echoed, and even Bill wore a shocked expression. Ebenezzer had slapped him; hard. His claws left four thin lines across his startled face. Bill stared, wide-eyed, too shocked to even retaliate. He had never expected the younger demon to attack him, and he rubbed the sore spot with a glare cast at the trembling disease demon.

“Do you think I LIKE being what I am, Bill!? I can't touch anyone without them getting sick, and I hate it! I'm not quite demon, not quite virus, and not quite human either. I hate being what I am, I don't WANT to exist! I throw up my own liquifying organs all the time, have to eat all the time to have enough energy to function, and don't even get me started on trying to live a normal life! Don't talk to me like you have the right to judge me, like you're so much better than me because you were created normally while I was, as you so eloquently put it, a test-tube trash can baby!” His voice warbled and went from its usual tone to a deeper, harsh shout.

The disease demon shoved past him and continued up the path, visibly shaking with rage. 

“You're wasting precious time yelling at me, when Dipper could be turning into a skin sack full of slushed organs right now. Come on.” He snarled over his shoulder. 

Bill sighed and followed, the others following, but keeping a good distance between them and the demons. No one wanted to get in the middle of a brawl waiting to happen. An awkward tension hung in the air even as they arrived at the next door. The anger began to fade, and relief washed over them. The tension did not fade between the two demons, however, and they refused to look at each other. They instead focused on the next Pillar. 

Wrath was glaring off at the landscape behind them, hair slicked back and a deep scowl across his face. His teeth were bared and irritation was painted along the lines of his face, and the statue's hands were jammed into it's pockets. 

“I'm getting really tired of these fucking statues.” Stan growled at it. 

“Only two more chapters until we get to Dipper. Then we can all go home and forget this whole mess happened.” Mabel glanced at the demons, wanting nothing more than to lighten the sour mood that had settled over them. 

“Whatever. Let's just move on. The sooner we finish this, the sooner I can leave.” Ebenezzer spat and jammed the next door open, stepping through. The others glanced at the title before following him into the chapter of PRIDE. 

 

Dipper groaned and tried to shift away from the man seated atop his back, whimpering in pain. Everything hurt, and he was nearly always coughing up flecks of blood and a goopy black substance. Abandon ignored his obvious discomfort and watched the group as they endured the trial of Wrath. Dipper was watching as well, and his heart dropped as Bill and Ebenezzer shouted at one another. He didn't quite get how he could be IN the Book and looking INTO the Book, which was also IN the Book, at the same time, but he had stopped trying to puzzle things out a few days ago. Now he was only concerned with how his family was doing, and it looked like things weren't going so well. Both me gasped as Ebenezzer slapped Bill hard across the face. 

“Ooh, wow! Now it's getting interesting! Fight it out, guys!” Abandon was grinning ear-to-ear. 

He frowned when the demon fight didn't happen. Curse them and their ability to regain control over their emotions. He knew at this point that nothing was going to stop them from getting to his chapter, and he was looking forward to their arrival. It was getting dull listening to the deer kid whimper and cry in pain. His efforts to keep the Cervitaur alive were doing little to help. He would get the disease demon to cure him before he killed all of them. It was simple enough, really. 

“They'll be here in a couple days, kid. We'll get you fixed up, then you can watch your friends die.” He cooed at the sniffling younger man. 

“Watching them die will only make me depressed, so I won't be in good condition or whatever you care about.” Dipper tried to reason with him. 

“I need you to look good, not feel good. I don't care about your mental state, kid.” 

“Why? Why are you doing this? Who is this collection for? What are you even collecting?”

Abandon gave him a mad grin. 

“Everything. This whole world is mine, and I'll be the one that makes all the decisions and judgments soon enough. No one will be able to stop me and everything will be MINE. This whole world will belong to me, and I'll keep it all inside this Book. The Book of Abandon will hold all of the world's secrets, and they will all belong to me!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now this one was fun to write. Two more sins left, then we can get into some really big stuff! The quest continues, but how will it end!?


	10. The Trial of Pride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bill is a bit of an asshole, as expected, and things get a little more complex. Relatively short chapter.

The awkwardness from before was not left in the chapter of Wrath. Ebenezzer walked a few paces behind everyone else, looking lost in thought and quite frankly a little hurt. Bill marched in front of the group, eyes roving over the twisted landscape. 

The Pride chapter was built on a hilly landscape full of several different twisting paths. There was no hint or clue as to which was the correct one; they were all simple dirt paths cut through the grassy terrain. Strange snake-like creatures coiled next to the entrance to each path, all of them a deep purple with several large eyes. They watched the group quietly waiting for something. 

“What are those things?” Mabel asked, nervous. 

“Guide Snakes. Strange creatures, truthfully. This chapter is impossible to navigate without their help. Even I do not know the correct path to the door.” The Index seemed a little put-out by this fact. 

“We don't need their help. I can get us through this without them,” Bill snorted, looking at the several paths before them before plunging down one, “It's gotta be this one!” 

The group groaned and followed him with much less enthusiasm. They had momentarily forgotten that Pride was Bill's cardinal sin. This was probably going to take a while. The path wound around low hills and over tall mounds, finally leading them right back to where they had started. 

“What? That doesn't make any fucking sense!” Stan growled, pinching his brow in frustration. 

“Would you like help, sirs and ma'ams? We know the way.” One of the guide snakes offered, something akin to a smile across its mouth. The friendly gesture looked more creepy than anything else. 

“Not on your life, pal. We can do this by ourselves!” Bill snapped. 

“Don't be an idiot, Bill. We'll be here forever if we don't get directions.” Pacifica frowned at him. 

“I don't need any directions.” Bill ran down another path. The group meant to follow him, but decided simply to wait for him. He would be back. 

Sure enough, the irritated dream demon was back within a few minutes. He growled in frustration and plunged down another path, then another, and another. The group watched, quickly growing distressed as he continued to refuse help. Finally, Ebenezzer had had enough. He grabbed the other demon and held him tight. 

“Listen to me, you pompous idiot. You're running around like an idiot and wasting our time. Worse, you're wasting your precious Pine Tree's time, and he has little enough as it is. So let's get directions and move on so I can get this done and leave.” The disease demon growled. 

“Leave? Like, leave leave? As in not come back?” Mabel frowned even deeper than she had been already. 

“Yes. I don't have to keep popping up here if all I do is screw things up and get insulted for trying to help clean up my messes. I was better off being hated and feared. I was at least accustomed to that kind of hurt,” He turned to address one of the snakes, “Can you please tell us which is the correct path?” 

The serpent seemed pleased, and hissed happily. 

“Third to the right. I hope you find what you're looking for.” It bowed slightly as they passed. 

Ebenezzer dropped Bill to the ground and walked ahead of them, simply concentrating on reaching the next door. Stanley fell into step next to a pouting Bill, glaring at the dream demon. He was not pleased with the idea of his closest friend being chased away by Bill's snarkiness. 

“Bill, you need to apologize to him.” The sphinx whispered to him. 

“Pfft, why? He's a demon, he can suck it up if his little feelings are hurt.” Bill rolled his visible eye. 

“Because if you don't I'm sure Dipper won't be very happy with you.”

“Eh, he'll move on.”

“Bill, seriously, apologize to him so we can get past all this and focus on saving Dipper.” 

“Stanley, is Pride REALLY the right chapter to ask me to do anything that would make me look bad?” 

Stanley glared at him, but shut up. Bill grinned at his small victory and set his sights forward as the next door came into view. It was large and appeared to be made entirely of gold. Gems and jewels of all sorts were set into it, and it shone bright in the light. Stan's eyes went wide at the sight of it. 

“Wow. Now that's something!” He grinned and ran a stone hand over the smooth surface. 

“Yeah. Talk about garish.” Mabel rolled her eyes; they didn't even need to read the sign to see that this was the chapter of GREED. 

The pillar next to it help another Abandon statue. This one was standing tall, looking down his nose at them with a bored expression. His pride was clear in his posture and snooty expression. The group was beginning to feel very uneasy about this whole thing. The pillars didn't make any sense, and The Index had completely clammed up at this point. The creature refused to answer any of their questions, simply hovering next to the door and staring right at it. 

“Let's just go. I'm really worried about my brother.” Mabel pushed the door open and stepped in, the others filing in after her. They gasped at what they saw; or rather, didn't see. 

The Greed chapter was completely empty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I have not updated in a few days. I had friends visiting and wanted to hang out with them. Anyway, this one wasn't too eventful, and Greed won't be too long either. But the few chapters after Greed are going to finally solve a few mysteries. What exactly IS The Index? Who is the false Abandon? What does he have planned in Chapter Eight?
> 
> And will someone have to make the ultimate sacrifice to save a frightened young cervitaur?


	11. The Trial of Greed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Potentially the shortest chapter in the story. The group proceeds through the last "trial," though this one ends with a sudden and startling revelation.

There was nothing around them. It was even emptier than the Table of Contents had been. There were no running strings of number, no floating letters of symbols. Just a plain whiteness that made a heavy weight settle in their stomachs. There wasn't even a ground under them, yet they continued to stride forward. They walked close together, past feuds temporarily forgotten in curious fear. Even The Index seemed a little put off. That was when they noticed it. 

As they proceeded through the chapter, The Index's image began to fuzz and blink. It reminded them faintly of a messed up channel on a television. They couldn't quite make out what the image became when it fuzzed, but it was unnerving. 

“What...what's happening to you?” Stan asked carefully. 

“N-nothing ThAt yOU shOuld Be COOOOncERR-Rned WITh.” The Index's voice rose and fell in pitch rapidly. 

“Sweet Christ, ow.” Stanley griped, rubbing at his sensitive ears, “Fine, just don't say anything.”

The bobbing creature seemed to agree, floating a few feet ahead of them. They followed it warily; at least it seemed to know where it was going. They could only hope it was still leading them to the next door, and not into a trap of some kind. Why the thing was bothering to help them had never come into their minds until now. They had assumed it was simply what the creature was programmed to do until now. Now, its origins and intentions were much more questionable. 

They arrived at the door sooner than they had expected. This door was a very simple one; light brown wood, deceptively calming for what they could only imagine lay beyond it. The pillar next to it was the truly interesting part; if only because there was no Abandon statue perched atop it. 

“There isn't a statue on this one...” Pacifica whispered, voice tight with fear. Something was very, very wrong, and the whole group knew it. They bunched together behind Bill, who was staring thoughtfully at the empty pillar, eye narrowed at it. The pieces were slowly falling into place. 

“No, it can't be that simple. This whole damned Book is too messed up for it simply to not have the statue. The statue isn't nonexistent,” Realization crossed Bill's face, “It's gone. Which means the Abandon that took Dipper...isn't real.” 

Bill turned to question The Index, but jumped back and screamed in surprise. The Index had been hovering mere inches from his face. Its curved mask of a face was glowing a bright red, and its three eyes had completely vanished. The guide rune across it had faded out, leaving nothing behind. It glared eyelessly at the silent group for a solid minute before the mask cracked with a loud snap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said, super short chapter! The group prepares to face their foe, but not before they deal with the mysterious and potentially dangerous Index!


	12. The Index

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Index finally reveals what it truly is, and our group makes it to Chapter Eight. The false Abandon (or is he?) waits for them, ready to play a game of cat and mice.

The Index's simplistic form shimmered briefly, then hazed out. It was replaced by the somewhat transparent form of a tall figure. It wore a long, deep purple cloak that easily hid the underlying shape of its body. The cloak was covered with an intricate pattern in gold and silver, which shimmered in the strange light of the chapter. Its face was hidden behind two different masks. The large mask, the least visible one, was a soft tan color, covered in letters and numbers in various colors and styles. The smaller mask, hung in front of the other by a purple head covering, was white, and hooked at the end like a bird's beak. The mask had a purple crescent moon on it, with a blank green eye between the two points. The ends of legs were visible under the figure's cloak, clad in orange pants tied around the ankles. Soft, simple shoes finished the strange ensemble; one red, the other blue. The figure solidified, then the eye on its frontal mask began to change colors. It shifted between green, blue, red, yellow, orange, pink, purple, and gray. It was never simply one color, but a swirling mix of all eight.

Most of the group stared at the figure in confusion and fear. Bill, on the other hand, gaped at it and backpedaled away from it, pointing. 

“Holy shit, it's you! You're the real guy! Abandon!” He growled, hands glowing with blue fire. 

The figure tilted its head a bit. 

“Yes and no...lower your weapons and I will explain.” Its voice was the same low drone of The Index. 

Bill slowly relaxed, eyeing the figure suspiciously. 

“I am The Index, as I told you before, though I did not reveal all that said job entails. I am the collective will of the Book, the representation of its goals and wishes. The Book cannot act on its own in the physical world outside its own pages, so I must do so for it.” The Index, now strangely identified as the true Abandon, shifted a bit behind its cloak.

“What do you mean? You said you were and were not the real Abandon...” Stan growled at it, not at all happy about this strange new development. 

“Abandon was never real. He was a construct created by the Book to do its bidding, to collect knowledge, out in the physical world. He was a tool, not a real being. He-I-had to be retracted once people began to become suspicious of his lack of aging. I suppose his-well, my-seeming immortality was problematic as well. I controlled the construct. So I am and am not the true Abandon. You may address me as such if it makes all of this easier for you.” 

“So the Book can't interact directly with the world, but it can create constructs to do so for it. That's what the false Abandon is, isn't it? He's another construct?” Stanley grinned, finally beginning to understand. This was fascinating! He would have to make notes about it later. 

“Correct. The first Abandon, the one you are seeing right now, was created from the last chapter of the book. It had no specific sin, thus was easiest to control. The Book chose to use the Pillar of Greed for its next construct, to greedily and possessively collect knowledge. That is what the Book seeks at the moment; knowledge. Knowledge is power, I am sure you know the phrase.” Abandon hummed a bit. 

“So if the Greed Pillar is working for the Book, and you're working for the Book, why did you help us through the chapters? Seems a bit counter-intuitive to me.” Bill growled, bristling.

“Greed has run his course, has gone out of control. He is no longer working for the benefit of the Book, but is using the Book for his own purpose. He must be destroyed. I helped you so you could destroy him for me. It takes a lot of effort to kill a construct, and I have other business to attend. The will of the Book has many goals that must be reconciled,” Abandon turned toward the door to Chapter Eight, “I suggest you move on. Your friend is not long for this world, and it will not be easy to best Greed. I leave you here.” Abandon strode a few feet away before vanishing in a swirl of its cloak, leaving behind only a slight smell of burnt paper. 

The group wasted no time in ripping the door open and jumping through. 

 

Greed sat atop the cage he had been keeping the sick Cervitaur in for a few days. The creature hadn't recovered at all from the deadly illness that stupid demon had given him. If his friends didn't arrive soon, Greed would have to make himself a new Cervitaur. What a waste of time. He had so many other things he could be doing!

He hummed softly and ran his fingers over the steel caging. The creature within whimpered and hunched over, retching up more blood. The sick stench made Greed's lip curl in disgust. Sabre, the cat-like creature he used so often as a spy, hissed unhappily at the smell and curled in his lap. He pet it and chuckled. Soon, very soon, this whole mess would be over with, regardless of how it ended. He was looking forward to watching the group struggle through what he had prepared for them. 

His head snapped up, and he glared at the door. He could sense them, and IT was with them. It had revealed itself. He should have known it would help them, would tell them what they needed to kill him. Well, he wasn't going down without a fight. The Book may have created him, but he was far greater than it! It was HIS, not the other way around. It was the Book of Abandon after all. He was Abandon, and it was HIS book! 

The door swung open with a loud bang, and he grinned as the group jumped in. He stood and began clapping, drawing their attention away from the massive city he had constructed for them. He stood atop the tallest building, leering down at them; they looked like ants. They WERE ants, to him. But that didn't matter right now. It was time to play the game; time to let his favorite pet loose in the maze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh things are really getting fun now! I've been waiting to write this and the next two chapters, and I hope I can put what I see in my head into writing. I guess I should leave a hint or something, eh? Maybe a read-through of the poem "the tiger" will help? 
> 
> Anyway, hope to have the next chapter up soon!


	13. Streetlamps and Smokestacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill and the gang (jeez what is this, Scooby Doo?) face off against a strange creature of Greed's creation. Then they prepare to battle the construct himself. 
> 
> As a side note, does anyone know how to add pictures to these things? I'm not the best artist, but I'm too poor to get anyone to draw stuff for me and I want to add visuals!

Bill growled the moment he heard the clapping, head turning sharply in the direction the sound had come from. He and the rest of the group glared up at the grinning figure of Greed. They could barely see him, perched atop a cage at the top of a tall building in the middle of a creepily empty city. Bill focused more on the slumped, whimpering figure in the cage; Dipper. He didn't have to see him to know, he could sense him. He could sense the fear and pain and disgust washing through the Cervitaur. 

“Give us Dipper and I might kill you quickly.” Bill spat at the grinning sorcerer-construct. 

“You know I can't do that. I can allow your spotted friend to cure him before I add you all to my collection, though. Or kill you. Hm, yeah, I'll just kill you. Go ahead, disease demon, cure the kid for me,” He growled when Ebenezzer made to move forward, “You'll do it from where you stand. I know you can.”

Ebenezzer grumbled something in a language they couldn't understand before snapping his fingers.

“There, he'll be fine in a couple days. Got here just in time, too. Can I go now? I've no other business here.” The irritated demon snipped at him. 

“Afraid not. You see, I don't take kindly to people trying to steal from me. You could say I'm a little greedy, though you guys already know that. I'm sure The Index has you all wrapped around its little fingers like pretty gold rings, hmm? Well, it isn't the only one that can manipulate things in the Book.” Greed smirked and waved a hand dramatically. 

A large cage lowered several yards in front of them. Inside was one of the strangest creatures any of them had ever seen. It was a massive tiger, fur blazing orange and dusted with soot. Five huge smokestacks rose from its back, spewing thick black smog into the air. They sputtered loudly, flames occasionally spitting into the air above the ragged monster. A thick black goo dripped down the growling creature's chin, and out of its blank white eyes. A horrid stench of cooking meat and burning fur rose from the creature. 

“Sweet Sally, what have you done to the poor thing!?” Mabel choked out a sob, pity and disgust in her voice. 

“I'm more than just a silly collector, girl. I'm pretty good at stitching my own things together too. Much like your great-uncle, except my creations are alive and very much real. SO, here's how this game works. I'm going to let fluffy here out of her cage in five minutes. In that time, I hope you lot will have found a good place to hide and plan. If you survive, which is unlikely as she is a VERY efficient predator who hasn't been fed in a good while, you can take me on directly! So get running, little mice!” Greed laughed as the group took off into the city he had created. 

The group ducked into the first building they found with an open door, running up to the top floor. They stayed clear of the windows and whispered hurriedly to each other, all pale and shaking in fear. 

“Fuck, what do we do?” Stan whispered in his gravelly voice. 

“Okay, okay. I doubt we can just rip her head off like with the crocodile in chapter three...we need to think.” Pacifica knitted her brow, coiling around herself. 

A loud clank and a roar let them know their five minutes was up. 

“Well we better think quick, because it won't take long for fluffy to find us!” Stanley peeked out the window, ducking back in at the sight of orange. 

“Hmm...well, what if we blocked up those smokestacks on her back? You guys saw the black goo dripping out of her mouth, a clear sign of illness. Trust me,” Ebenezzer chuckled darkly, “So maybe if we stop up the smokestacks, the smog will build up in her body and choke her. I don't imagine that she's well put together, tigers and heavy factor machinery aren't exactly a good mix.” 

“That's stupid.” Bill hissed. 

“Oh, you got a better idea, Goldilocks?”

“Could feed you to her and see if she chokes on your nasty ass.”

Mabel lightly hit both of them. 

“Snap out of it, guys. Let's try Ebzy's thing and see what happens. If it fails we can try something else.” She chided them quickly. 

“Okay, next question. What do we stop them up with? Not much here.” Stan made a sweeping gesture around the room. 

“Okay. Stanley, Mabel, and Pacifica stay here. If our thing fails we need you to come up with a back-up plan to save our skins. Ebzy, Bill, and I will rip off chunks of the building and try to block off the smokestacks.” Stan looked out the window just in time for the roving monster to spot him and yowl. 

The tiger charged at the building and paced under it, blank eyes locked on the window Stan still hung out of. It growled and crouched, leaping up and swiping at him. He ducked back into the building, barely avoiding being snagged by a large claw. 

“I suggest we do this now!” Stan opened his wings and took off, flying over the building. The demons followed him quickly, previous animosity forgotten in the heat of battle. They each latched themselves to a corner of the stone top of their building, grunting as they pulled huge chunks of heavy rock free. 

Bill tried first, hurling his piece down at the beast. He missed, giggling as the rock bounced off the giant cat's head with a loud crack. The tiger was much less amused, yowling and running toward him. Stan swooped low over it while it was distracted, dropping his piece into one of the stacks successfully. The tiger turned on a dime and swiped at him, clipping his side and earning a shouted expletive. 

“Distract it!” The gargoyle shouted at them. 

“On it!” Stanley opened his feathered wings and flew close over the beast's head, kicking one of its rounded ears. That drew its attention, and it chased him hungrily. Stanley whistled at it and taunted it, doing all he could to keep the enraged animal's attention.

Ebenezzer took advantage and dropped his chunk of building into the next stack, grinning as the animal paused to cough a thick cloud of black smog. The animal quickly resumed its chase, gaze locked on Stanley. Sphinx must have roughly translated to “funny fur-bird” to the deranged creature. Stan wasn't about to let his brother become cat food, and he crowed loudly as he dropped more rock into the third stack. The tiger growled and snapped at him, but its movements were starting to become lurched and uncoordinated. 

“I think it's working!” Bill shouted. 

“One way to find out!” Ebenezzer dropped rock into the fourth stack, then more into the final one. 

The four of them returned to the building, where Mabel and Pacifica had been waiting anxiously. All six stared out at the creature as it reached up and tried to swipe at them. It staggered a bit, then paused and hunched over. It couched, and smog billowed out of its mouth. The group watched as the animal staggered around, trying to breathe through the steady black cloud bubbling from its mouth and nose. It snorted and fell to its side, writhing and making pathetic whimpering sounds. 

“This is awful.” Ebenezzer growled. 

“So is death.” Stan commented, watching the animal curl and twitch as it slowly died. 

“Eh.”

Bill sighed and clapped Ebenezzer on the shoulder. This was going to be one of the most difficult things he had ever done. Yet, it had to be done.

“Pretty good idea you had there. Look, I'm..I'm sorry I snapped at you. Was uncalled for and all that,” The demon rolled his eye, “That's the best you're getting.”

“I guess I can live with that. Now, let's go squash a construct so I can go home. This has been traumatizing.” Ebenezzer grinned. 

Greed scowled as he watched the group walk to the base of his skyscraper. He sighed impatiently and snapped, and suddenly they were standing a few feet from him. The dream demon immediately ran to the side of the cage the Cervitaur was curled up in. He muttered calming words to the shuddering man, trying to assure him that they would be leaving. It was sweet; made him want to throw up. 

“Ah ah ah, back away from the merch big guy. Sorry demon, but you need fifteen tickets to live.” Greed grinned and stood to his full height, bright blue magic swirling around him. 

“Well, better fire up those carnival games, because I'm gonna win the grand prize!” Bill glared angrily, his own blue magic curling around him. This was going to be one hell of a fight, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't excited. Demons are very protective of their mates, after all~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh how I wish I could add visuals! Whew! Anyway, big boss battle coming up! I was listening to "Battle in the Forgotten City" from Final Fantasy on a loop as I wrote this bit! 
> 
> This fic has been stewing in my brain. Hell, I dreamed that the different Abandon Pillars were falling from the sky while "It's Raining Men" played. Talk about nightmares!


	14. Boss Battle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle with Greed takes a drastic turn, leading to a drastic solution.

If there was anything Bill could compliment Greed about, it was cleverness. The construct had been well designed by whatever intelligence the Book of Abandon had within it. It could think for itself, that much was obvious. What it had in cleverness, however, it lacked in experience. It was clear that Greed had not been out of the Book and operational for very long. If it had, it would have known not to steal a demon's mate, nearly kill them, then pick a fight right afterward. Greed was a clever fool. 

Bill was the first to lunge at the sneering construct, swiping at him with long claws and growling. Greed laughed and easily side-stepped him, making no effort to strike back at the enraged demon as he continued trying to hit him. Bill tired quickly of the game and launched a ball of blue flames at him. Greed hissed as the flames skirted past him, singing some of the hair on his arm. 

“Wanna play ball, demon? Sure, I'm a fan! Let's play ball!” Greed crowed loudly, the aura of blue around him growing brighter. Balls of light began to fly in all directions, splitting from the aura and flinging themselves at the whole group. They were quick to scramble out of the way, not wanting to get involved. Ebenezzer growled and ran forward, hurtling past a startled Bill. 

Greed grunted as the disease demon collided with him, ignoring the stinging pain of the construct's magic. Ebenezzer held the man down with his cheetah-like lower body and clawed at him with his mangled right hand. Greed hissed and hooked his feet under the demon's belly, kicking hard and throwing him off. Greed quickly shot away from them, leering at them thoughtfully. 

“What's wrong big guy? Realizing you can't win against two demons?” Ebenezzer taunted him, climbing to his feet. 

“Not quite.” The tattoos on the man's arms rose off the skin, writhing like goopy black snakes. They shot forward with near blinding speed, lashing across Ebenezzer's back and Bill's chest. Both demons growled and ran toward him, ignoring the continuing lashing from the tendrils and focusing on the construct. Greed snarled in frustration and snapped his fingers. 

There was a flash of light and a monstrous dragon appeared behind him. It was large, dripping with brown sludge and dirt, with two bright white eyes sunken deep into its face. Large chunks of rock and bone protruded from its back, and it screeched at them. It took a wobbling step forward, struggling just to move. The thing gave off a putrid odor that had Ebenezzer struggling not to vomit. 

“The fuck is that?” He gagged. 

“A creation of mine It wasn't quite done yet, but it will have to do.” Greed hovered high above it, pointing to the demons. The dragon seemed to understand, as it opened its jaw wide. A red light glowed deep in its throat, then it sputtered and a beam of red energy shot from its gaping maw. Both demons lept to avoid it even as the monster swiveled its head in an attempt to hit them. 

“Again!” Greed shouted. 

The monster tried again, barely missing both demons. It groaned loudly and took a few trembling steps, large chunks falling off it onto the ground below. The group watched with disgust and horror as the creature screeched, beginning to fall apart. Greed yowled with frustration as the dragon collapsed, sizzling into a large pile of goo, rock, and bone. The construct chewed his lip anxiously. 

He had little time to think of a new plan. Bill was at his side in moments, sinking his knee into the construct's stomach. Greed hissed and tried to fight back, but Ebenezzer joined the rather comedic struggle and even Greed couldn't keep up with two pissed off demons. They clawed, kicked, and bit at him, and while he managed to land a good few punches, he wasn't known for physical strength; that was more Wrath's deal. Greed spotted an opening, and with a burst of magic he had shaken the demons off him. He rocketed a good several yards away, glaring at them and panting. 

All three were a bit worse for wear. Ebenezzer had a large gash across his back, and his fur was ruffled and matted in some places. Bill's clothing was torn, and a thin trail of blood leaked from under his eyepatch. Greed was by far the worse off, battered and bruised, covered in cuts and bite-marks. He panted tiredly and growled, mind racing. If it came to a physical fight, he knew he wouldn't be able to hold up. None of his creations would hold long enough to finish the job either. 

“What's wrong, big guy? Running out of ideas?” Bill grinned, sharp teeth bared and ready to rend flesh from bone. He had grown tired of playing games a long time ago. 

“I still have a few tricks up my sleeves, demon. Don't underestimate me!” Greed lowered himself to the ground, smirking, then his body crumpled and he fell. 

Bill and Ebenezzer exchanged confused looks before approaching him, the others following. 

“Is he dead? Odd last words.” Stan grumbled, nudging the still body with his foot. 

“No, if he was dead we would have turned back to normal. Something isn't right...” Stanley looked around cautiously. 

“Stanley's right, he isn't dead. He's left his body,” Bill hissed, glaring around and searching, “Don't know what he's playing at.”

“I told you I had a few tricks left.”

The group yelped and turned toward the source of the voice. Ebenezzer looked back at them, body changed back from the cheetah-centaur thing to its normal shape. He stood rigidly, jaw clenched in pain. He stared back at them with wide eyes that made even Bill shudder; his usual red irises were being washed over with blue. The colors swirled and shuddered, highlighting a deeper struggle, and the group backed away from him. 

“Is he...trying to possess him? Can demons be possessed?” Mabel whispered fearfully. 

“Not normally, but Ebenezzer isn't a normal demon and this construct is...well, I don't really know what it is. You have to fight him off, Ebenezzer!” Bill watched him carefully, the internal struggle evident in how his eyes flickered between his red and Greed's blue. 

Ebenezzer's face split into a wide grin. 

“Sorry Bill, but this is my body now!” Greed's voice echoed a bit in triumph. 

“Get OUT of my BODY!” Ebenezzer's voice came next, and the group watched as the two argued from the same body. In any other circumstance, it would have been hilarious. 

“This is a HUGE invasion of privacy, bud!”

“Like I give a rat's ass about that!”

“Get out, this fuckin' HURTS!”

“Not on your life, demon! Your friends won't hurt me if you'll get hurt too!”

“Now that is just low!”

“Hey, I never said I was a noble guy!”

Ebenezzer growled, then shuddered. A grin slid across his face at the familiar painful gurgling in his stomach. 

“You fucked up, buddy.” The demon's voice sounded pleased, then both voices screeched in pain as blood spilled out of their shared mouth. 

The group had never actually SEEN Ebenezzer have a major attack of his illness, and while it was a well-timed one, it was still horrific to watch. The demon sank to his hands and knees as blood and black sludge was retched to the floor. His body shuddered in pain, and they could hear Greed swearing and screaming. They saw a blue aura attempting to leave the body, but it was quickly yanked back in. Ebenezzer wasn't letting him escape the pain; not if he couldn't escape also. 

The attack lasted a good several minutes, and the group stood and watched the horrific breakdown progress. It left Ebenezzer lying in a pool of blood, shaking. Greed stopped attempting to leave the body. 

“Was that the best you can do, demon? Now that that's done, I think I'll be staying.” He laughed at the obvious pain his stolen vessel was in. 

Ebenezzer sat up and chewed his lip, thinking. There was little else he could do; he was a young demon, he didn't know how to banish Greed from his body. He had no intention of sharing, or letting the avaricious construct hurt his friends. He gave a broken sigh and looked over at the group sadly. 

“Well, it's been a good run. I'm sorry about this, but I won't let this thing use me to hurt you guys, and my life wasn't much of a life anyway.” He spoke through the confused haze Greed was shadowing over his mind. 

Bill's eye went wide as he realized what Ebenezzer was planning. 

“No way, no! Don't do this, man, we can figure out what to do!” He shouted at him, but it was too late. The demon had already set himself alight with all-consuming red flames.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two chapters left! What will become of Ebenezzer? Did setting himself on fire destroy Greed? Did it KILL Ebzy? WHAT IS GOING ON? Seriously, I don't know anymore. Everything is exhausting. Anyway, two chapters left. Then I may do a bunch of domestic drabbles with Ebzy, because I freaking adore him.


	15. Not As It Seems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group exits the Book of Abandon and returns to the Mystery Shack for a well-earned rest.

The group stood in silence around the smoldering lump that used to be the disease demon, Ebenezzer Zaire. They really weren't sure what to feel. There was relief; turning back to normal had alerted them to the death of Greed. There was also the bitter sting of remorse. Ebenezzer had quickly become a family friend, and he had even sacrificed himself to save them from what could have been an awful fate of being boxed collectables, or dead. Neither was a good option. Exhaustion was present too. This whole ordeal was exhausting, and slightly traumatizing. Dipper was going to have nightmares for months. 

“What...what do we do?” Mabel whispered sadly, tears stinging in her eyes. 

“Not much we can do. He gave his life to save all of ours. I guess we just remember him fondly.” Stan grumbled; he had never been very good at this. 

“I'll never forget this...poor thing, never even found a cure for himself.” Pacifica sniffled softly,

Movement drew their attention to the crumpled body formerly inhabited by the greedy construct. It slowly stood, bracing itself against the cage Dipper had been in for balance. The group watched with bated breath as the figure slowly looked up, revealing familiar red-brown eyes. Ebenezzer grinned sheepishly at them from Greed's abandoned body. 

“Never tried possessing anyone before...took me a little bit to figure it out. Fun skill, good to know and all that.” He spoke with a slight chuckle. 

“What the hell, man!? We thought you were dead! What was all that about!?” Stanley barked at him, both relieved and upset with him. 

“Ah, I thought I was gonna die, then as I set myself on fire I was like nah, fuck that. I still have things I wanna do, you know? See the world, try all sorts of weird foods, swim in the Aegean Sea, yadda yadda. I remembered that as a demon, I should be able to possess bodies, so I decided to possess Greed's empty shell once I was done burning him out! Gotta say, I like not being dead, though I liked how I used to look.” Ebenezzer knit his brow in concentration. 

Before their eyes the body changed. The tan skin darkened to Ebenezzer's usual deep brown, hair lengthened and became the familiar black dreads. He grew a little taller, his right hand curved and clawed, and his arms grew a bit longer. The tribal tattoos along the right arm lingered, then turned a startling white, standing out brightly against the flesh. The new body wasn't nearly as bome-thin as Ebenezzer had been before, though he was still slim; he looked much healthier. Ebenezzer grinned; he looked almost exactly the same, with the tattoos as fun new additions. 

“Check me out! I'm hot! And you know what?” The demon grinned hopefully, “I don't feel so tired and dead! I don't wanna jump to any assumptions, but maybe...maybe switching to this constructed body cured me! I feel like I can still spread my illness, but only if I want to!” 

“That's great, but let's celebrate back at the Shack, after all of us have had about a week to recover. This has been...quite the ordeal.” Dipper spoke, voice hoarse and soft. 

Bill scooped him up immediately, carefully settling the human onto his back. He glanced around with a frown knit across his usually grinning face. How the Hell were they supposed to get out? 

As if in answer to his unspoken question, a figure appeared atop the cage. It was The Index, in the form of the original Abandon. It looked exactly the same, with one minute exception. The blue that had been in its swirling color wheel of an eye was gone now. The creature watched them in silence for a moment, then lifted its long arms. All that could be seen of its hands were four strange metal claws, seeming to float just along the edges of the fabric of its sleeves. Its movements were fluid and serene, yet brimming with power. It made Bill very nervous. 

“I must commend you. You did well in defeating Greed. I thank you. He was out of control, and the Book cannot be represented in such a manner.” The Index spoke slowly, choosing its words carefully. 

“We were happy to help. Will you do us the kindness of sending us out of the Book? We would all appreciate going home now.” Bill replied as eloquently as his tired brain could muster. 

“I would be delighted. I will also allow the disease demon to keep the construct's body. The Book will not be needing it, and has the power to make more if need be. Thank you, and may we never cross paths again.” 

Bill chuckled. 

“Ditto.”

There was a brief flash of light, and the group was standing in a circle around the open Book of Abandon. They were in the empty cave Greed had been hiding out in. The Book slammed shut after them, falling still. It looked deceptively like an old library book. 

“What do we do with it?” Pacifica asked, picking it up carefully. 

“We should leave it lost. No one can handle that kind of power. It's best we let it be.” Stanley took it from her and set it against the wall of the cave. 

The group stared at it for a few silent minutes, then began the journey back home. Bill teleported them to the Shack in no time. They quickly went their separate ways, finding a soft surface to crash on. Bill carried Dipper lovingly up to their room in the attic. He laid the tired man on the bed and curled up next to him. Dipper smiled happily as the demon pulled him against his chest and purred happily. Dipper yawned as thin, clawed fingers carded through his messy brown hair. He lulled to sleep quickly, hearing a brief “I love you” before slipping into dreamless sleep. Bill watched him all night, not letting his Pine Tree out of his sight. No one was going to hurt his mate ever again, he would be sure of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo! One chapter left! Let me know what you think. I may write more with Ebenezzer at some point, though I need to figure out what I would do. I also MIGHT bring the mysterious Book of Abandon back for more creepy, chaotic fun! Who knows? Anyway, I'm hoping to do some art for this, once I get better at drawing my own damn characters! Ha! 
> 
> So yeah, almost done. One chapter and this adventure is done.


	16. The End...or is it?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things settle into a new, calmer routine for the Pines family. 
> 
> Hints for a possible next story, including two different constructs who make a very unlikely pair.

Ebenezzer Zaire, disease demon, was as happy as he had ever been. It had been three months since the incident with the Book of Abandon, and he hadn't had an attack of his illness since the whole mess. He hadn't needed to do any more medical research, so he had more time to hone other skills. He got better at the sitar, which was fun; he had loved the instrument since someone had taught him to play as payment for a deal. He started learning Dutch; it seemed like a useful enough skill. 

Better yet, he had decided to revamp the old research lab, turning it into a more liveable place. He decided to live there for most of the year, keeping to himself unless a deal was to be made. For a few weeks a year, he would stay in Gravity Falls. He dropped by shortly after the incident was over to stay for a few days. The family was more than happy to see him; ever since the whole incident, he had been able to control his illness ability. He was no longer an unintentional threat. He would lounge around and watch old movies with the Stans, assist Dipper with his mystery hunting, and even allowed Mabel to use him to get ideas for new sweaters. 

They had silently decided not to speak about the events from the Book. There was an obvious effect, of course; everyone was a little more cautious. Hell, Bill didn't let Dipper do anything on his own for a month. He was still always sure to be close by in case something happened. Life went back to normal for the most part. It was nice, and the whole family hoped that there would be no more major trouble. They were tired of all of the trouble; it was time to relax and settle into a calm routine. 

 

The demon watched with a blank stare as his victim slipped into the cold claws of death. Panic and fear faded out of their eyes, leaving them glassy. The demon stooped and scooped up the softly glowing white mist that gathered out of the dead man's mouth. He allowed it to swirl around his hand for a brief moment before licking his lips. He collected the mist into a jar and dropped it into the inside pocket on his white coat. Satisfied that his work was done, he leaned back on his heels and plucked a cigarette from the pack in his breast pocket. 

Lighting the stick, he took a long puff and exhaled. Things were getting a little dull here. He missed a certain disease demon with long dreads and a delightful habit of refusing his advances. The way he said “no way man, not interested!” made his usually cold heart flutter. He missed that feeling. Perhaps it was time to track him down and try again. He hadn't bothered him in a year, and it was so hard to be away from the one he loved. 

The demon chuckled and walked away from the empty body, whistling a tune to himself. Maybe this would finally make him feel alive again. He leaned a bit on a long cane as he walked, limping a little. He would have to use the energy trapped in the bottle to help relieve his leg pain. It was bothering him again, and he had to be in his best condition when he paid his old friend a visit.

 

In an empty cave somewhere deep in the desert, an old book lay on the ground. A thin layer of dust had gathered on its leathery cover. It flipped open suddenly, though no wind prompted it. There was a flash of light and a fluttering of pages, and two figures stumbled out of the book. Both looked pretty similar to one another. 

One had vibrant pink eyes, rugged brown hair, and a hungry smirk across his lips. He was a very handsome man, and it was clear that he knew it. He held himself as if he knew just how good he looked and just how much he could get out of it.

The other had a darker complexion than his companion, and a dangerous scowl across his face. His hair was a velvety black, slicked back with gel. His eyes blazed an angry red, and he jammed his hands into his pockets. 

“Get the Book, we got work to do.” He started on his way out of the cave, ignoring the indignant cry of the other. 

“Wait up!” The other grabbed the Book and ran to catch up to him, “Come on, don't start this off by being an ass! Wait for me, dammit!” 

Inside the Book of Abandon, The Index watched the two new constructs make their way out of the cavern. They were an odd pair, but there were good reasons to have chosen the both of them. Greed had been...a fluke. A very costly fluke. Thanks to that idiot, there were now people who knew the Book could be active again. That could be dangerous, but the Book needed more information. Two constructs would be more advantageous than one, and the two of them would protect the Book and one another at all costs. 

The Index sighed and floated deeper into the Book. Nothing to do now aside from wait, and hope the Pines family didn't become a problem again. There were things to plan, and chapter eight had to be reorganized. There was never enough time to get anything done in here. Oh well. Maybe after all of this came together, there would be time to finally, finally rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this adventure is finally done! Wow! So, a few hints at some potential new stuff. We'll see what happens. I'm not sure if I'll write more or not. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the ride and I am so grateful to everyone who read this! If you have any questions for me about anything, the characters or whatever, my tumblr is magic-metal-pipe-of-pain. I'd be glad to hear from anyone! Thanks again for all the fun!
> 
> ~Silver


End file.
